Those Cakes We Like … Will Start At The Very Beginning

So it is a New Year. The time for making resolutions, turning over new leaves, trying new things. This time of year brought the realisation that I have thrown you all in at the deep end by providing recipes that some of you may feel are completely beyond your abilities. I would like to correct that mistake. This decision may also be due to the festive period, meaning I’ve fallen back on tried and tested recipes from other sources rather than creating my own.

I firmly believe that baking is for everyone, regardless of skill or budget. I began baking during weekends spent at my grandmother’s house when I was a very small child. We made fairy cakes, flapjacks (the oaty traybake kind), chocolate cornflake cakes, and shortbread. I watched her bake and decorate her Christmas cakes which she gave to family members every year — those things took weeks to prepare as the fruit had to be soaked in brandy, and then more brandy had to be added to the cake batter and left to settle. I learnt to make a basic shortcrust pastry with my mother, who regularly made quiches, or meat and potato pie for family dinners. School taught me more pastry skills, along with breadmaking, and I taught myself more advanced cake decorating when I was in my early twenties.

Most of the recipes of my childhood were simple, inexpensive ones which were meant to feed families who did not have a great deal of money — my mother was a full-time carer for my two autistic brothers, which doesn’t provide much of a family income. As we come into the uncertainty of 2025, with all the attendant worries about possible cuts to the social support network at the hands of the Republican Party and their billionaire owners, these recipes may well come into their own again. It is often less expensive to purchase flour, salt, and yeast and bake three loaves of bread than it would be to buy three loaves of bread from the grocery store. The same can be said for shortcrust pastry. And don’t even get me started on the mark-up on celebration cakes. If you can find the time to bake things from scratch it will often save you money in the long run.

“But Cakes!” I hear you cry, “What about all the expensive equipment I’ll need in order to start baking?”

Fear not, friends. You need very little to begin. A few essential items, some of which you probably already possess.

Mixing bowls — a set of different sizes is ideal, but if all you have is one or two, you can make it work.

Rolling pin — essential for pastry making, but also useful for making the base of a no-bake cheesecake.

Deep oven tray — useful for freeform breadmaking, traybakes, and cookies.

Digital kitchen scales — essential for measuring by weight as baking requires precision. I will always give my measurements in grams for the simple reason that it enables me to more accurately calculate the carbohydrates in my recipes. You will not be able to convince me to change this.

Whisk — needed for whipping cream, and whisking cake batter or buttercream frosting. A hand whisk is the least expensive option, but will require more effort.

Rubber spatula — perfect for getting all the cake batter out of the bowl, and smoothing the top of the cake prior to baking.

Pastry brush

Wooden spoon

Springform cake pans — easy release makes getting the finished cake out of the pan much simpler.

Cake wheel — makes frosting your finished cake much easier.

Piping tips and bags — enables more advanced decorating.

Stand mixer — takes the work out of whisking and kneading.

Food processor — speeds up the process for shortcrust pastry, shortbread, and cheesecake bases.

There are a few things which are readily available in the UK but not in the USA, and a few other things which are known by other names over here. I’ve been compiling a list as I’ve been going, but I’m sure more will turn up as we go.

Self-Raising Flour — apparently, this is not something that you have in the USA. Don’t worry, it’s fairly easy to make. To make self-raising flour from plain flour, you can add 2 teaspoons of baking powder for every 150 grams (1 cup) of flour. You can then sift the mixture together to ensure the baking powder is evenly distributed.

Plain flour — All Purpose Flour

Double Cream — Heavy Whipping Cream

Icing Sugar — Confectioner’s Sugar

Caster Sugar — Superfine Sugar, you can make this by grinding granulated sugar in a food processor or coffee grinder for about 20-30 seconds. Most of the time, using granulated sugar will work just as well.

Cornflour — Cornstarch

Bicarbonate of Soda — Baking Soda

Jam — You call it jelly.

Jelly — Jello

Once you’ve got your basic equipment together it’s a case of finding the right recipe for your first foray into the world of baking. You’ll want something simple and delicious, something that will give you the confidence that baking is something you can succeed at. I recommend something like Flapjacks (UK). You can substitute maple syrup instead of the golden syrup in this recipe, or perhaps try your hand at making golden syrup yourself if you can’t find it in your usual grocery store. I recommend melting the sugar, butter (vegan butter also works), and golden syrup in a saucepan and adding this mixture to the oats without using the food processor — it’s a much nicer texture if the oats are still whole.

Another alternative is a no-bake cheesecake, this is great for impressing friends and family without putting in too much effort. I gave you a recipe for a white chocolate and raspberry variety of this last summer, but a Chocolate Orange Cheesecake is a great alternative for the winter months. This recipe calls for digestive biscuits, these are usually found in the British section, but graham crackers are an acceptable alternative, or you could use shortbread. If you can’t get your hands on a Terry’s Chocolate Orange, the equivalent weight of milk chocolate with the addition of 1 teaspoon of orange essence is an acceptable substitute.

If you want to impress someone with a fancy dessert that requires little in the way of effort, consider Mary Berry’s Tiramisu. For those who aren’t keen on the taste of coffee, you can swap the coffee and brandy for a lemon syrup (100g sugar, 100ml water, juice and rind of 1 lemon, bring to the boil slowly and then simmer for 4-5 minutes to allow the syrup to thicken) mixed with 75 ml of limoncello. Swap the dark chocolate grated over the top for white chocolate and you have a lovely, coffee free Italian dessert.

Once you’ve had your first successes you’ll probably be feeling a bit more confident. This is the time I would recommend investing in your first baking cookbook. I wholeheartedly recommend Mary Berry’s Baking Bible, there is a reason Dame Mary Berry is known as the Queen of Cakes. Her recipes are some of the best I’ve ever worked from — her chocolate cupcakes are divine. If you’re more interested in bread then I would recommend a little book called The First Time Bread Baker by Emmanuel Hadjiandreou for the novice bread baker. The instructions for kneading and shaping your bread found in this book are fantastic. Once you’ve got to grips with the basics of bread dough then you could consider moving on to explore Paul Hollywood’s more complex recipes.

The important thing to remember when you’re beginning baking is that things will not always go right. There will be times you add salt instead of sugar, or your cake just doesn’t rise for whatever reason. Don’t give up. Nine times out of 10, your mistakes will still be edible. It’s rare to achieve perfection on your first attempt, the important thing is to keep practicing and getting that little bit better each time.

I recommend trying to bake something at least once a month, more often if you can manage it. We all need a little treat occasionally, and gifting baked goods is a great way to make people happy and ensure you’re on good terms with your neighbours.

I hope this quick introduction to baking has given those of you who are hovering at the edge of the pool the confidence to dip in your toes and make your first attempt at baking something; maybe it could be your New Year’s Resolution. I hope to hear about your successes and your failures — we can compare our mishaps and laugh over them together. I think we could all use the smiles this year.

Share

Join me next month when service will resume as normal. I’m planning to give you a Chocolate Lava Cake recipe that should be perfect for a romantic occasion. This has nothing to do with Cakes Jr. begging me to make these for months, I swear.

In the meantime, please consider tipping Your Wonkette if you are able to. Your Editrix has got to keep the lights on and the ovens working. Here’s a handy one-time donation link for you.