BREAKING: All Investigations Into Fake Elector Ratf*cking Scheme Blowing Up At Once

Shit is GOING DOWN today in the plot to overthrow American democracy by dint of substituting a bunch of cosplay weirdos for Joe Biden’s electors. Every one of these stories deserves its own post, but by the time we got finished typing, them, it would be Thursday. So let’s run ’em down quicklike before God only knows what else breaks, shall we?

Spill It, Lindsey!

First up, the worst senator from South Carolina got absolutely dick-kicked by a federal judge today. You love to see it.

US District Judge Leigh Martin May ordered Graham to get his skinny ass to Atlanta and start talking for the grand jury empaneled by Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis. The grand jury is investigating the Trump campaign’s efforts to ratfuck the state and steal it from Biden, including Graham’s calls to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger and his deputy Gabriel Sterling in which he reportedly pressured them to invalidate enough mail-in ballots to flip the state to Trump.

Graham moved the case to federal court and tried to get the subpoena quashed based on the Speech or Debate clause, arguing that he was just doing his legislative duty to ensure that the ballots were correctly tabulated.

Judge May said NFW, on the ground that that’s now how speech or debate works, asshole. Well, more or less.

How You Livin’, Rudy?

Rudy Giuliani, the president’s pro bono lawyer, was due to testify today before the same Atlanta grand jury after losing his bid to get a health waiver due to a recent chram surgery. (Allegedly!) Giuliani famously pushed lies about election workers, painting a target on the back of mother and daughter Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, subjecting them to months of harassment and death threats.

Today Giuliani’s lawyers say he was informed he is now a TARGET of this investigation. As in not a subject, and not a witness, but the guy who winds up winning the grand prize* in the end. And the grand prize is an indictment.

Mazal tov, Mister Mayor! And peace be upon your fellow attorneys Jenna Ellis, Cleta Mitchell, John Eastman, and Ken Chesebro, who also got subpoenas from this grand jury.

*_{Prize not guaranteed, terms and conditions may apply}.

Merrick Garland Takes Time Out from Ruining Trump’s Shit to Ruin Trump’s Shit Some More

Meanwhile, the attorney general took a break from raiding Trump’s trash barn in Florida to drop a federal grand jury subpoena on former White House advisor Eric Herschmann. You know, this dude.

That’s right, Merrick! You gonna let some state level prosecutor show you up? Think not!

Herschmann is no one’s idea of a nice guy. He worked hard to defend Trump in the first impeachment hearing by sliming Joe and Hunter Biden, and tried to feed stolen emails from Hunter Biden’s laptop to the Wall Street Journal in an effort to get Trump re-elected.

But he did have the sense to realize the efforts to overturn the election were insanely illegal. And he’s been a lot less reticent about saying so than former White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, who was also subpoenaed earlier this month.

Bet ya he’ll get a great f-in’ criminal defense lawyer!

And Then There’s Sidney Powell. GIRL …

The Washington Post just dropped a long story about Team Kraken’s efforts to prove the election was stolen by virtue of rigged voting machines. That effort included paying a forensic data firm to get inside local election systems’ servers and voting machines to find the algorithms, or Chinese bluetooth thermostats, or gremlins who supposedly stole the election from Trump.

In most instances, it appears they gained access to the sensitive equipment via court order or with the connivance of local officials. It looks like election supervisors in Georgia’s Coffee County just gave them carte blanche to look at everything, something that was already under investigation for possible violation of Georgia law.

Moreover, it’s not clear whether the attorneys abided by court strictures to keep the results of their bogus audits confidential:

The Michigan judge’s order granting access to the machines had barred the “use, distribution or manipulation of the forensic images and/or other information gleaned from the forensic investigation without further order of this court.”

The new records show that after SullivanStrickler investigators copied the hard drive of an elections server in Antrim on Dec. 6, 2020, Maggio emailed Powell and Penrose, who were not involved in the local lawsuit. Maggio told them the Antrim files would be madeavailable to download from a secure online folder once the firm was paid.

The Antrim data was later publicized during the same Lindell symposium where the Nevada data was shared.