Wonkette News Of Today Survived The Heat Dome (Maybe)!

Welcome to Friday’s day of Wonkette news, let’s head you straight to the cocktail!

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, The Perfect Margarita!

Now that you’re refreshed, what else did we do today? Some stuff!

We wrote up two of the Supreme Court cases from yesterday and today, but I think we might have gotten Moore wrong. Sure it doesn’t invalidate the entire US tax code, but precluding a wealth tax is bad probably! Also, Brett Kavanaugh ain’t make no sense.

Supreme Court Upholds Part Of Trump’s Awful 2017 Tax Law And … That’s Good?

This one was more “good news only” except for the knowing that Clarence Thomas is on the Supreme Court.

Clarence Thomas Takes Bold, Lonely Stand For Domestic Abusers’ Right To Bear Arms

You know who hasn’t shown up yesterday or today at the Supreme Court? Sam Alito. Boy I hope he’s all right.

Here’s a weirdo for you! Wait till you get to the Amelia Earhart stuff.

Meet Timothy Mellon, The Latest Weirdo Billionaire Trying To Get Trump Elected

The villain who thinks he’s a hero. Nice job by your friend CripDyke on this one.

Doctor/Hacker Reveals Trans Kids’ Private Medical Info, Gets Traditional Hero’s Indictment

Yes, please do this.

Dems Want To Abolish The Comstock Act So We Can Mail Abortion Pills And Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Meh.

NV Republican Senate Nominee Sam Brown *Of Course* Wants To End Social Security!

Ew.

Hold Your Nose, House Ethics Committee Probing Matt Gaetz Again

Evan was *very mean* to poor Judge Aileen Cannon. Almost too mean? Literally borderline! (I made a child sad last week — not my own, that is allowed — and even making a fictional child sad is upsetting me. Jesus, get over yourself, me!)

Big Kid Judges Told Aileen Cannon She Was Too Little For Trump Trial But She Didn’t Listen

Oh my stars and wash my knickers!

BREAKING! ACHTUNG! DRUDGE SIREN! NEW YORK TIMES SAYS *TRUMP* IS OLD!

OK bye.