Seditionist Mike Johnson Will Certify 2024 Election Ifffffffffff He Thinks It’s Juuuuuuuust Right

House Speaker Mike Johnson, the mewling little pissy boy religious extremist who was one of the architects of Donald Trump’s coup attempt to overthrow the American government in order to overturn the results of the 2020 election that hurt his feelings — which led directly to the Trump supporter terrorist attack against the US Capitol on January 6 — was asked yesterday if he would commit to certifying the 2024 election next time January 6 comes around.

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You will be shocked at the qualified response the mewling little pissy boy gave to the straightforward question of whether Congress would observe regular order in the certification of the 2024 election on January 6, 2025, even if Kamala Harris wins. Just kidding, no you won’t. With his fingers presumably crossed behind his back so it could be his little secret with Jesus that he was lying, Johnson said:

“Well of course — if we have a free, fair, and safe election we’re gonna follow the Constitution, absolutely.”

Oh go fuck yourself, traitor.

Note the weasel words from Mike Johnson, the Father of Lies, the seditionist who happens to be such an off-putting creep that he and his son either have or used to have Christian nanny software on their phones to send each other an alert any time one of them is improperly touching their Little Johnson to internet porn. (Christian fascist extremists are gross people.)

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Note how Johnson gave himself a loophole big enough to drive a Mack truck through. If Johnson judges that there is a “free, fair, and safe election” — he didn’t last time because the white fascist lost, despite how it was considered by the experts to be the freest, fairest, and safest election in US history — then he will “follow the Constitution.”

If he doesn’t think so — one can safely assume that’d be if the qualified Black woman who doesn’t hate America won — then he won’t “follow the Constitution.” At least that seems to be the safe assumption, judging by the actual words he said.

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In response, Democratic Rep. Pete Aguilar, who was part of the House January 6 Select Committee, stated the obvious about his snake of a colleague: “He doesn’t have a track record that would indicate to the American people that he should be believed.”

The Hill notes that on top of Johnson’s participation in coming up with (very stupid, he’s not actually a very bright guy) legal pretexts for refusing to certify the election, Johnson even babble-farted out the lies du jour about Dominion Voting Systems rigging the election: “The allegations about these voting machines, some of them being rigged with this software by Dominion, there’s a lot of merit to that,” he said back then.

Johnson worked really hard to get each and every other House Republican to sign an amicus brief in shady crimeboss Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s universally mocked clownfuck lawsuit to overturn the election in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin, for totally cool reasons that amounted to “Trump lost and we’re mad.” Johnson found 125 fellow seditionists in the House to sign it.

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That’s the guy who says that if he thinks the election was “free, fair, and safe,” then he will “follow the Constitution.”

If he doesn’t think that — and there’s no reason to think he would if goodness, decency, and democracy prevail — then he won’t follow the Constitution. Guess he’d just help Trump do another coup in that case.

That’s of course if Republicans hold on to the House and Johnson still was running things that day. If Democrats retake the House, Congress will convene on January 3, 2025, and, we assume, elect Hakeem Jeffries speaker.

Let’s go with that option and turn the page on these fucking loser traitors forever, yeah?

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