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Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Amazing. Just amazing.
As literally everyone expected, Republican asshole Lee Zeldin has won the New York GOP gubernatorial primary. At this moment, he’s got about 44 percent of the vote, while young Andrew Giuliani is wayyyyyyy back there with around 23 percent (we rounded up because he’s probably used to being graded on a curve).
What a fucking embarrassment and a fucking loser.
What dishonor he’s brought upon his family name LOL just kidding there is no honor upon his family name.
This dreadful and completely expected news comes as Daddy Giuliani is still in recovery after the Great Back Tappening Of 2022, which murdered him but he got better. Now New York City Mayor Eric Adams is saying maybe Rudy should be reminded that filing a false police report about a fake “assault” is a crime, and Rudy told the New York Post, “Tell Adams to go fuck himself” and “what a fucking scumbag,” which is very funny, because “fucking scumbag” is exactly what the guy who lightly tapped him on the shoulder and made him yelp out in pain while campaigning at the grocery store for his absolute loser of a son called him.
This week is about the best a man named Giuliani can hope for, really. At least they got their names in the newspaper.
This has been a Wonkette breaking news post about the news.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you’re not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?
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