Joe Biden Also Too Has Some MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENTS

Y’all remember how the White House hired that hilarious person out of the New Jersey governor’s office to do all its tweeting, and everything has been a little more hilarious on the internet since then? Part of the reason this needed to happen, of course, was because the actual president Joe Biden is far too busy being president to play on Twitter all day. It’s kind of a thing, when you’re the president and you take your job seriously.

Donald Trump spent all day and night Wednesday and Thursday trumpeting MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT, which prompted mostly mockery from people, but we guess it got him the attention he so desperately craves. And then MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT turned out to be … trading cards. Not even physical trading cards, but NFTs.

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: Maggie Haberman And CNN Pals Can’t Stop Clowning On Irrelevant Loser Trump

Trump Make-Believing He Is Superman Again, Bless His Heart

So that was even more underwhelming that most of Donald Trump’s big reveals.

Joe Biden, the real president, had a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT too, though. Several of ’em.

That is just some very good trolling right there.

Joe Biden is fixing inflation.

Donald Trump has some fake internet baseball cards of himself.

Joe Biden protected marriage equality from the illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court.

Donald Trump got these internet pictures.

Joe Biden brought Brittney Griner home from her vile captors in Russia.

Trump TA-DA! Will sell you a .gif file of his head on an attractive man’s body for only $99!

Joe Biden’s gas prices are waaaaay down.

Trump might get to eat dinner with some more Nazis sometime soon, maybe! Except AW NUTS he’s got round-the-clock babysitters now and they don’t let him eat dinner with Nazis!

Joe Biden has helped bring bunches of new jobs to Arizona!

Some kind of job has been coming to see Trump at Mar-a-Lago FROM Arizona lately. A NUT-job.

You know, Joe Biden doesn’t usually deign to make reference to the aberration that preceded him. Doesn’t say his name.

But sometimes you just gotta make an exception and kick that loser when he’s down, and this was one of those times.

Even Ben Shapiro made fun of him.

Somebody in Trump’s orbit told the Daily Beast that his NFT project was “stupid.” Another person said “none of it makes sense.”

And then there was this guy from Glenn Beck’s network:

And so many more!

In other news, a new Quinnipiac poll says Trump’s approval rating is continuing to totally crater among the American people, while Joe Biden’s approval rating is still underwater but on the upswing.

Wait, whoops, that’s not other news, that’s the same news as everything else in this post.

In summary and in conclusion, Thursday was a REAL GOOD DAY for sad pathetic conservative white guys. No notes.

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