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WE KNOW, WE KNOW, WE KNOW.
We should stop talking about investigations into Donald Trump, because he has been totally exonerated by the Durham Report, which was just 316 solid pages of iambic pentameter about Trump’s beautiful and sexually attractive and innocent body, and how every criticism ever levied against him has been a hoax.
As Truthful Trump truthed in this Truth on TruthSocial:
I WAS BEING FRAMED BY THE FBI AND THE DOJ. NOW IT CONTINUES WITH THE BOXES HOAX, THE “PERFECT” PHONE CALL IN ATLANTA, THE MANHATTAN D.A., AND THE NEW YORK STATE A.G. SCAM. WHAT A GROUP, BUT ALL REPORT TO THE DOJ IN WASHINGTON. IT’S JAMES COMEY AND THE SLEAZEBAGS ALL OVER AGAIN. THEY ARE PLAYING ELECTION INTERFERENCE IN 2024 THROUGH ILLEGAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGAINST REPUBLICANS, IN PARTICULAR YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT, ME. THESE ARE CHEATING LOWLIFES, BUT WE WILL WIN. OUR COUNTRY IS GOING TO HELL!
Egg. Zackly.
But we can’t stop ourselves, because we are James Comey and the sleazebags all over again playing election interference in 2024 in particular against your favorite president, him, so here is a new thing about the boxes hoax.
CNN reports that the National Archives has informed Trump’s team that it’s about to hand over 16 pieces of evidence that prove that Trump knew exactly what he had to do in order to declassify things when he was president, so he can’t lie now and say that if he farted in the general direction of a document or stuck it up his butt and waddled up the stairs with it, it was automatically declassified.
The acting Archivist Debra Steidel Wall sent a letter to Trump two days ago that says, “The 16 records in question all reflect communications involving close presidential advisers, some of them directed to you personally, concerning whether, why, and how you should declassify certain classified records.” As in, you knew how this worked. Don’t fuckin’ lie, loser.
In Trump’s disastrous CNN town hall, he lied and said he was allowed to take (steal) any records he wanted from his presidency, that he had an “absolute right” to do that. (He does not.) He lied and said anything he took with him he had “automatically” declassified. “And, by the way, they become automatically declassified when I took them.”
When fomer Daily Caller racist listicle writer Kaitlan Collins asked if he had shown people the highly classified documents he stole from the American government, he said “not really” and “not that I can think of.”
Surprise, Trump has been trying to hide these 16 documents from Jack Smith.
According to the letter, Trump tried to block the special counsel from accessing the 16 records by asserting a claim of “constitutionally based privilege.” But in her letter, Wall rejects that claim, stating that the special counsel’s office has represented that it “is prepared to demonstrate with specificity to a court, why it is likely that the 16 records contain evidence that would be important to the grand jury’s investigation.”
But they’re handing them over on May 24. One of CNN’s sources says that despite how Trump sometimes tries to challenge things like this, the National Archives is in the habit of handing shit over before Trump even has a chance to do that.
Which reminds us of how if Trump had just given back the highly classified state secrets he stole for reasons we can still only imagine, he might not be in this predicament. He must have really needed to steal those highly classified state secrets. Something far beyond all his dumbfuck bitching about how those are “my documents.”
Oh FFS, That Idiot Actually Thinks State Secrets He Stole Are ‘MY DOCUMENTS’
BY THE WAY, speaking of boxes hoax, one of Trump’s biggest lawyers on boxes hoax just quit yesterday. Timothy Parlatore was specifically repping Trump in the boxes hoax part of the investigation. And here he is quitting just a week after Trump lied to the American people and to the former Daily Caller listicle writer in that town hall, and just after the National Archives sent this letter that would seem to undercut some of Trump’s defenses. (Parlatore says his leaving has nothing to do with the case itself.)
All the same, this is very poor timing, as Steve Benen points out:
It was just last week when Trump, facing the threat of a possible indictment, admitted during a town hall event that he improperly took sensitive materials from the White House, contradicted earlier defenses from his own legal team, and hedged when asked whether he’d showed classified documents to others.
John Fishwick, a former U.S. attorney, soon after told NBC News, “Trump’s comments hurt him, and what he said is significant. … Not only do they contradict his legal position, he admits to possession and knowledge of classified documents that he is taking from the White House. [Special counsel] Jack Smith will make good use of last night’s town hall and it will help him button up his case.”
But anyway, goodbye, one of Trump’s boxes hoax lawyers! (Benen points out that Parlatore also testified to the grand jury in boxes hoax.)
And continued best wishes in boxes hoax for Donald Trump!
All of this is probably fine.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
I would like a BlueSky invite.
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