‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Not a Masterful Reboot

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All the bad jokes in this self-mocking blockbuster made me cringe(r).n

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I was a He-Man kid.

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I had a bin full of action figures. I got Castle Grayskull for one birthday, andSnake Mountain the next. I cherished those toys, in part because I watched an animated show called He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, a series that existed because ’80s deregulationpaved the way for toy companies to promote their wares directly to children viaTVshows. Instead of making commercials that aired between the cartoons, thecartoons themselves became the commercials.

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So it felt right that there was a new Skeletor action figurewaiting for me on my seat at theNew York premiere ofthe first Masters of the Universemovie in39 years. Ditto for the speech before the moviefrom a Mattel executive, whoproudly declared that hisfamous toy company is now in the business of “brand management.” I’m not sure how much brandHe-Man has left to manage at this point beyond its value to Olds™ like me who were brainwashed into loving its goofy heroes and villains like Buzz-OffandSy-Klone and especially Stinkor, a toy that looked like a skunk man and, true to his name, smelled like crap.

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That’s why this Masters of the Universemovieexists: To restore this franchise to a place of prominence and marketability for generations to come. Based on the early word of mouth I’ve heard, it may just succeed. But “successful” is not a word I would personally use to describe Masters of the Universe, at least not creatively. Thisgargantuan 140-minute film — the length of almost seven full episodes of the cartoon series! — conjures a veryfaithful live-actionrecreationof that old ’80s world of barbarians, wizards, and robots, then proceeds to relentlessly mock.

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READ MORE: The Best Movies Based on Toys

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The characters are introduced in a lengthy prologue narrated by Prince Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) establishing the fantasy realm of Eternia. That’s the home ofheroic warriors like Mekaneck (James Wikinson), who cangiraffe himself at will, and evil warriors like Spikor (James Apps) who is extremely pointy. As a boy, the warm-hearted Adam wastaught by Man-At-Arms (Idris Elba) that the world is a cruel and dangerous place where only the strong survive.

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Wouldn’t you know it? About three minutes later the evil sorcerer Skeletor (Jared Leto) invades Eternia, seeking the Sword of Power housed in Castle Grayskull. The castle’s own Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) sends Adam to Earth, where he spends the next 15 years in exile — somehow rising to the status of a human resources manager at a nameless corporation despite constantly telling anyone who will listen that he is actually a royal prince from a faraway galaxy who must locate a sword in order to return home and defeat a big blue man with a skeleton for a face.

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Adam finally finds the sword in — where else? — a comic book store filled with vintage Mattel products, and soon his childhood friend Teela (Camila Mendes) is back fighting by his side. She brings Adam home to Eterniafor a reunion with Man-At-Arms and the rest of the surviving heroes, andthe quest to stop Skeletor finally gets underway.

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Director Travis Knight (Bumblebee) fills the comic store where the Sword of Power is hidden with tired nerd stereotypes, and uses the scene to poke fun at immature adults hung up on their childhood obsessions. But Adam himself is an immature adult hung up on his childhood obsession — the walls of his bedroom in the apartment he shares with asnarky roommate (Christian Vunipola) are covered in drawings of wizards and swords. It just so happens that instead of playing with He-Man toys as a kid,Adam actuallywas He-Man.

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That sense ofconfusion about whether this movie is meant to celebratea nostalgicIP orscoff at itfor being incredibly childish permeates the entire film.Back in Eternia, Adam reunites with classicMasters of the Universecharacters like Ram-Man (Jon Xue Zhang) and Fisto (Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson). That leads to an exhausting running gag that threadsthrough the rest of the film: AMasterscharacter will appear, Adam will explain what he used to call them when he was 10,while they recoil in horrorattheir juvenile name. Fisto, for example, wants to make it very clear that despite Adam’snickname for him, hedoesnot fist people. (Parents, get ready to explain to your kids why the grown-ups arechuckling at that one! Ho ho!)

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If these characters’ names are so silly, why not change them? Or use different characters? Costume designer Richard Sale did atruly impressive jobtranslatingthe old Masterstoys and cartoons into three-dimension beings,mostly so they could serve as punching bags forsaggy ironicquipsabout howeveryMasterstoy sounds like it was named by a child.

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The movie’s message is equally muddled. Knight decided to make his He-Man a referendum on modern masculinity. Raised by aking who wanted him to be strong, Adam’s quest to reclaim the Sword of Power is partly a quest to become the (he-)man his father always wanted him to be. ButMasters of the Universealso insists on multiple occasions that might doesnotmake right. To that end, itincludes moments where Adam —using his background in human resources — tries tobring Earthly ideas about conflict resolution and negotiation tohisstruggle with Skeletor. He insists he wants to talkto his enemies rather than punch them, something the Sorceress herselfpraises when she claims in one scene that Adam’s true power is not brute strength, but rather understanding and empathy.

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Alas,any time Adam tries to solve problems with communication it backfires. Every attempt to defuse a fight leads to an even bigger battle.And the film finds no nuances whatsoever in Skeletor, who Leto plays as a power-hungry dictator with a skull for a head and an inexplicable English accent. So I guess the lesson here is that you shouldsay you don’t want to fight, because that makes youlook a nice person,and then punchwhoeveropposes youanyway? For a guy whose super power is supposedly his boundless kindness, Adam surekillsabunch of people in this movie.

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Galitzine is very game to look a goofball; give him credit for his superhuman willingness to bumble around like the world’s most ineffectual action hero in little more than a loincloth. But his transformation from inept Adam to hulking He-Man would be more convincing if he didn’t look like a bodybuilder from the moment he appeared onscreen. Trying to insist that this guy is a lonely dork who’s never seen the inside of a gym is a bit like putting glasses on Rachael Leigh Cook inShe’s All That and claiming she’s ugly.

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Leto makes a decent Skeletor, although with his genericBritish bad guy accent, I wouldnot have known it was him beneath the various layers of effects without the end credits. (Ditto for Kristen Wiig, who apparently voiceda CGI robot character.) Idris Elba gets just enough to do as Man-At-Arms to make you wish he’d gotten more opportunitiesthroughout his career as the lead in big-budget spectacles, rather than the wise and strong advisor to the hero. (See also: theThor franchise.) The best performancein thisMasters of the Universeis probably Alison Brie, whounderstands the film’s self-satirizing tone, and sells her compliment of winking jokes about her cruel skeleton man of a boss.

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The creators of thisMasters of the Universe felt so confident that the world needed a glossy new version of this material that they committed to a large-scale, big-budget version of it thatruns nearly two and a half hours. But they also felt so insecureabouttheir source material thattheir adaptation constantlyridicules almost every component of itself, right down to the name ofthe main character.

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So why did they make it at all? I know, I know, to sell more toys, duh. Still,this exercise of attempting to reenergize an old IP by taking the piss out of it feels a little misguided.In a world where originalconcepts likeObsession and Backrooms are suddenly the hottest films in Hollywood,an expensivespoofofMasters of the Universealready looks nearly as dated as the oldHe-Man cartoon I watched as a kid.

“,”podInfo”:{“type”:”tag”,”name”:”p”,”attribs”:{“dangerouslySetInnerHTML”:{“__html”:”So why did they make it at all? I know, I know, to sell more toys, duh. Still,this exercise of attempting to reenergize an old IP by taking the piss out of it feels a little misguided.In a world where originalconcepts likeObsession and Backrooms are suddenly the hottest films in Hollywood,an expensivespoofofMasters of the Universealready looks nearly as dated as the oldHe-Man cartoon I watched as a kid.”}}}},”currentTextLength”:466,”runningCounter”:3,”cumulativePodTextLength”:1664,”totalSimilarConsecutiveElements”:4,”totalTextLength”:1676},{“type”:”singlePostText”,”data”:{“text”:”

RATING: 4/10

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The 15 movies of 2026 we can’t wait to see.

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Release Date: January 16

Less than a year after 28 Years Later relaunched the 21st century’s definitive zombie franchise in fine fashion, a sequel is here. Written by Alex Garland, produced by Danny Boyle, and directed by Candyman’s Nia DaCosta, the film continues the story of Years’ survivors, including isolated Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes), young Spike (Alfie Williams), and demented Jimmy (Jack O’Connell), the leader of the violent cult that was first introduced in the final moments of the previous movie. The Bone Temple will supposedly also reintroduce Cillian Murphy, the hero of the original 28 Days Later, setting up a third 28 Years Later that he would potentially headline.

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rnrn

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