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Hey Chief Justice John Roberts, get out your bitch-and-moan-o-phone, because we’re about to impugn the integrity of one of your beloved justices again! Specifically, MAGA partisan hack clownfuck loser Samuel Alito, who spent some nice time on the phone this week with Donald Trump, whose whinyass issues are perhaps before his Court more than any other human’s, and whose whinyass issues are specifically there this week.
Hoist some kind of classless redneck flag in the yard and demand an audience with the manager, Martha-Ann! The liberals and queers are speaking out of turn again, openly and flagrantly about to criticize He Who Must Not Be Criticized!
Today’s story is that this very week, Samuel Alito, who trades the title of “Most Integrity-Free Judge In US History” back and forth with Clarence Thomas like it’s the class pet hamster and they get to alternate weekends taking it home, had a little afternoon phone-and-bone with President-elect Donald Trump this week.
Is that highly inappropriate, especially considering how much business Donald Trump always has before the Court, business that tends to be of the kind where Trump demands the Court give him carte blanche to be whatever kind of law-breaking Hitler he envisions in his wet dreams, and the Court rolls over and giggles and tells him how handsome he is? (This is an example of checks and balances, children!)
Alito swears it’s fine just fine that he talked to Trump on the phone this week, on a week where Trump has just demanded the Supreme Court save him from getting sentenced in his New York state criminal case. Why? Because it’s always fine just fine, stop asking questions, peasants!
Also Alito says lies that they didn’t gab about any of his court cases, so it’s all good. They were talking about other things entirely:
“William Levi, one of my former law clerks, asked me to take a call from President-elect Trump regarding his qualifications to serve in a government position,” Justice Alito confirmed to ABC News Wednesday. “I agreed to discuss this matter with President-elect Trump, and he called me yesterday afternoon.”
Oh cool, so this is just Trump making Alito indebted to him, by Doing Him A Favor, Though, and hiring his former law clerk. And we already know Alito gets rock hard when Trump wants Favors, Though, from Alito’s judicial pen!
Trump and his best boy Sammy talked Tuesday afternoon. On Wednesday morning, Trump’s lawyers scream-begged at SCOTUS to stop that mean New York state judge Juan Merchan from sentencing him. Yes, even though the Supreme Court should theoretically have no jurisdiction over such things, but when has a little detail like that ever stopped a MAGA judge from sucking Trump’s cock. Also even though Judge Merchan has signaled out loud that he is going to sentence Trump to “nothing,” the act of sentencing itself etches in stone for all time that Trump enters office as a convicted felon.
But Alito says oh golly, oh gee, oh fiddlesticks, land sakes, oh my word, oh my stars, oh Mylanta, they didn’t talk about any of that, pshaw! Surely you jest! I’m soooo sure! Come on, you guys! Get real!
Besides, he didn’t even know Trump was going to ask SCOTUS for that! What is he, some kind of judge who’s been active in the last 10 years and might have some sort of clue how Trump has handled 100 percent of the investigations and criminal cases against him? GET OUTTA HERE.
“We did not discuss the emergency application he filed today, and indeed, I was not even aware at the time of our conversation that such an application would be filed,” Alito said. “We also did not discuss any other matter that is pending or might in the future come before the Supreme Court or any past Supreme Court decisions involving the President-elect.”
Yeah, OK, fuck yourself with one of Martha-Ann’s tacky cheap-ass Hobby Lobby flagpoles, dude. If that is true — and it is most certainly is not, he is lying, but IF HE IS TELLING TRUE — then Sam Alito is even more of an airheaded dipshit than we already think he is.
Or as Joyce Vance put it more nicely on her Substack, it would be “really odd” for Alito not to know Trump was going to appeal, since “the whole rest of the legal world knew it was coming.”
By the way, also in front of the Court this week? The case over whether TikTok should be sold or shut down. Politico explains that “Trump filed a brief in that case asking the justices to put the law on hold while he tries to make a deal that would avoid shuttering the platform.” We are sure they didn’t talk about that either, heaven forfend, that would be improper.
Mark Joseph Stern from Slate sky-blued (we’re testing out alternatives to “skeet”) that there might have been one interesting reason Trump might have wanted to talk to Levi’s former employer, besides how Levi’s former employer is one of the two justices who lives furthest up inside Trump’s rectum:
Yeah, we imagine Trump might want reassurance that a guy who didn’t let Trump’s terrorists finish the job on January 6 is fully committed to Sparkle Motion.
New York prosecutors had a deadline to respond to the Supreme Court by 10 this morning, and they did. Surprise, they think the sentencing should go on as planned.
But whatever happens we are certain that Samuel Alito won’t let his conversations with Trump inappropriately affect how he rules in any of these cases since we all know he was just going to tickle Trump’s grundle and sign off on whatever he wants anyway.
He’s not exactly a serious person.
OPEN THREAD.
[ABC News]
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