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Ineffective loser Christian extremist shitbag House Speaker Mike Johnson told his caucus Wednesday to try not to act like total fucking livestock during tonight’s State of the Union address. So we bet they’ll get right on that, because of how they respect Johnson so much.
It’s great, because while that might play in the most mouthbreathing racist corners of outer MAGA-lachia, normal people will be watching the president’s address tonight, and normal people hate the way people like Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert behave in public. So we’ll call that another campaign commercial for Joe Biden.
That is what Republicans are worried about, particularly regarding the utter lack of etiquette from the anthropomorphized wet fart who represents northwest Georgia:
Rep. Ralph Norman (R-S.C.) said people will “probably” still heckle because “a lot of it is spontaneous,” saying of Greene in particular: “They’re not going to tell her what to do. She captains her own ship.” […]
“They did it to Trump and nobody said ‘boo,’ but when we do it, we’re going to get made an example of,” [Tennessee hayseed Rep. Tim] Burchett said.
“And that will be the meme, or whatever the young people call them, for a long time.”
GOL-DARNIT, it’s gonna end up on America Googles The Online or whatever the kids are calling it these days!
As for the content of tonight’s address, you should America Googles the Online it, if you just have to have a preview. Playbook had some details this morning, let’s cheat off them, but type it in bullet points like Axios to make Politico feel like a big loser Dinosaur McParagraphWriter:
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Abortion abortion abortion! Including in Dr. Jill Biden’s booth, where Kate Cox, who had to sue Texas because she needed an emergency abortion that wasn’t legal — the lawsuit didn’t go well, because Texas is a Nazi state — will be a guest. Her doctor will also be there.
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Also a guest? Latorya Beasley, who was waiting for an IVF embryo transfer in Alabama until she suddenly couldn’t get it FOR SOME REASON.
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Joe Biden will confess he is old and will be immediately taken away in chains, for a complimentary tour of the Werther’s butterscotches factory, after which he will be free to continue his speech, after handing each member of Congress and the Supreme Court one (1) butterscotch apiece.
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He’s going to talk about abortion.
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Also how the economy is literally fucking awesome. Did you know Biden’s America has had the fastest and best recovery from the pandemic in the entire developed world?
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He won’t say the name “Trump.” It’s not a campaign speech, you philistines.
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But he’ll find lots of ways to make that contrast abundantly clear. He’s not an idiot, you idiots.
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He’s gonna be a real cock about all the Republicans’ bitching about the border, now that they killed a border deal that gave them everything they wanted because Donald Trump stomped his feet and wailed at them, because he needs it as a campaign issue.
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And so much more!
And yes, says White House Chief of Staff Jeff Zients, he’ll be talking about Israel and Gaza:
“You can expect the president to address this head-on,” Zients told us. “The president is working hour by hour to negotiate an immediate and sustained cease-fire in Gaza over a period of at least six weeks as part of a deal that would release hostages, and get significantly more humanitarian aid in. And he wants enduring peace in the region so that Palestinians and Israelis can live with security, dignity in two states — something he is actively working towards every day.”
Interesting, as the news reported today that Biden has ordered the construction of an emergency temporary port to bring aid to Gaza. “We are not waiting on the Israelis,” says a senior US official quoted by the Guardian.
You can watch the address, which begins at 9 p.m. ET, literally fucking anywhere, including at Wonkette, which will be liveblogging it.
OPEN THREAD until then!
[Axios]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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