British Prime Minister Liz Truss has resigned after just six weeks in office, which CNBC tells us is the shortest tenure in history for a British prime minister. The rapid fall of her government came about after she announced enormous tax cuts for the rich without explaining how they’d be paid for, which sent the UK’s economy into a tizzy.
A “mini-budget” introduced September 23 by Truss’s first Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kwasi Kwarteng, called for big tax cuts, but nobody liked it since it would have been funded by debt. That sent bond markets into chaos, with investors running from one side of British Wall Street to the other while the camera tilted and smoke bombs went off, like when the Enterprise was being hit by heavy phaser fire in the original “Star Trek.” The value of the pound plummeted, causing gravity to flutter temporarily, and soon enough Truss fired Kwarteng, replacing him with Jeremy Hunt, who announced Monday that pretty much all the tax cuts would be reversed, OK, are you happy now, economy?
The New York Times reports that Truss’s government had planned to announce more details of its budget plan on October 31, but Hunt moved up the announcement in an effort to calm markets, which had been jumping around and meowing loudly and running headlong into the furniture, and in Britain, that shit’s old and you don’t want it to break.
“A central duty for any government is to do what’s necessary for economic stability,” Mr. Hunt said in a televised statement. “No government can control markets but every government can give certainty about the sustainability of public finances.”
But the decision to scrap the tax-cut package mostly left a vacuum into which confidence in Truss vanished, and more than a hundred members of Parliament submitted letters expressing no confidence in her leadership, so Thursday morning (that’s today!), she resigned. She read a statement explaining that “We set out a vision for a low-tax, high-growth economy that would take advantage of the freedoms of Brexit.
“I recognize though, given the situation, I cannot deliver the mandate on which I was elected by the Conservative Party. I have therefore spoken to His Majesty the King to announce that I am resigning as leader of the Conservative Party.”
As has become a tradition, Larry the Downing Street Cat announced he would be taking the job, just as he had following the resignation of Boris Johnson in July.
Where the Conservative Party election to replace Johnson took several weeks, Truss said that she will stay on until an election next week chooses her successor, who might as well be the cat if you ask us.
In a complete non-surprise, allies of Johnson say he may seek the job again, according to CNN. One of his supporters anonymously offered CNN this compelling reason for giving the former PM another shot at fucking up the country’s economy: “Socialists will destroy our economy and if you don’t understand that then I genuinely fear for our future.”
Also too, the Daily Star tabloid last week started a silly livestream on YouTube of a lettuce in a wig, asking whether it would last longer than Truss. While it browned a little, it’s still standing, hours after Truss acknowledged she could no longer romaine in office and would leaf the government.
In Washington, President Joe Biden thanked Truss for “her partnership on a range of issues” like supporting the government of Ukraine, and said that the relationship between the UK and the USA “will never change,” no doubt adding under his breath, Whatever wanker they come up with next.
CNN reports that when asked if the economic and political chaos in the UK might spill over into US affairs, Biden said, “No, I don’t think they’re that consequential” — referring, one hopes, to the economic and political turmoil, not our steadfast allies the wankers. We would just like to add that it’s good to see an American president express confidence that the US can supply all the political chaos it needs without having to import any.
Should the next Conservative PM manage to go sideways even more quickly than Truss, Parliament is expected to pass a measure renaming the nation “Italy but Much More Damp.”
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