Hunter Biden’s Felony Convictions Just Prove Trump Is Innocent

Hunter Biden was found guilty of three felonies in federal court today, and not a single Democrat showed up outside the courthouse to declare that the verdict was a travesty, or that it was nothing more than a political prosecution (even if very few people actually are prosecuted on these charges all on their own, absent a related prosecution on drug charges). Most of us said, “yup, he did lie on his gun background check form,” and noted that jail time for a first offense is pretty rare, so it goes.

Hunter Biden Suspends Presidential Campaign After Guilty Verdicts

Probably the worst reaction from Biden supporters was the naive and entirely too common belief that maybe Hunter Biden’s conviction would demonstrate to Trump supporters that no, the justice system isn’t rigged against Donald Trump, or even that it might suggest to them that Joe Biden doesn’t personally determine the outcome of court cases. Here’s a pretty typical example of the genre, from a 1.3 million-subscriber account I’ve never heard of, followed by a very Trumpian reply:

“Brooklyn Dad Defiant:” BREAKING: Hunter Biden has just been found guilty on all 3 counts against him.

Well, MAGA? How will you spin your narrative of a “rigged justice system” now?

“Kurt Schemers”: [Nerd emoji] EASY PEASY:

Let me break down the difference for the left that’s struggling to tell the difference between Hunter Biden prosecution and Donald Trumps persecution.

Hunter Biden, a drug addicted degenerate, was easily proven guilty by HIS actions.

Trumps was fabricated:

That’s followed by a very persuasive video by Mr. Schemers, ahem, consisting of a whole lot of people on rightwing media (Bill Barr, Steve Bannon, and some Fox News turds) proclaiming that the prosecution was a sham, a fraud, a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. Definitive evidence!

So that’s one very common theme: Of course Hunter was guilty, because he was guilty, while Trump was railroaded, and the clear guilt of Hunter has nothing to do with Trump’s being a martyr.

The far more common claim from prominent MAGA galaxy brains went more like this: Well of course Hunter was guilty as proven in court. But that doesn’t disprove the idea that Joe Biden rigged everything, because Hunter wasn’t charged with any of the made-up crimes that the Right is certain he committed, despite the lack of any evidence.

On Twitter, Trump lickspittle Stephen Miller explained (screenshot by Aaron Rupar) that the Justice Department only went after Hunter on small crimes to cover up the far greater crimes it was instructed to ignore!

DOJ is running election interference for Joe Biden—that’s why DOJ did NOT charge Hunter with being an unregistered foreign agent (FARA) or any crime connected with foreign corruption. Why? Because all the evidence would lead back to JOE

DOJ is Joe’s election protection racket

As Aaron Rupar notes, the great ting about conspiracy theories is that you can’t disprove them, ever. Hunter’s convictions simply prove the DOJ is corrupt!

Rightwing media person Charlie Kirk, his head still far too large for his face, insisted that not only was Hunter’s case a distraction from his father’s far worse crimes, it also proves just how ruthless a mob boss Joe Biden is (when he’s not too feeble to say what day it is):

The left will try to argue this proves the system of justice is fair. That’s what this is all about. This is a talking point trial.

“They’re trying to make it seem as if, oh, our justice system is fair. You go after Donald Trump, and you go after Hunter Biden. Hunter is them sacrificing a useless pawn who is guilty of far more than what he was charged with to go after a Republican king piece who is guilty of no crimes at all.

Before the verdict, of course, many on the right were busy explaining that the Biden administration was interfering in the trial to secure a not-guilty verdict, through such drastic jury-intimidation techniques as Jill Biden coming to the trial to support her son, which Fox’s Jeanine Piro explained demonstrated to the jury that the Biden “mob” was telling the jury, “we know who you are.” Now that the jurors have convicted Hunter, we suppose they’ll all be rubbed out, but we’ll never hear about it until maybe one of them is in a car accident any time in the next decade or two.

Oh, also, the Trump campaign is going with the “distraction from the REAL crimes” strategy, too, in case you were wondering. In a statement, Trump campaign spokesperson Karoline Leavitt said,

This trial has been nothing more than a distraction from the real crimes of the Biden Crime Family, which has raked in tens of millions of dollars from China, Russia and Ukraine. Crooked Joe Biden’s reign over the Biden Family Criminal Empire is all coming to an end on November 5th, and never again will a Biden sell government access for personal profit.”

After all, that is the sort of thing that is meant only for people named Trump. Politico notes that the statement was nearly identical to one sent earlier to CNN, which added best wishes for Hunter “in his recovery and legal affairs,” so we’ll assume that pissed off the Great Man for being too woke.

Also, just to prove that the fix was in, Joe Biden himself released a statement saying that he accepted the verdict and still loves his son, proving that we are under the capricious rule of a deranged, lawless monster who loves his son and applauds him for his so-far encouraging recovery from addiction.

As I said last week, I am the President, but I am also a dad. Jill and I love our son, and we are so proud of the man he is today. So many families who have had loved ones battle addiction understand the feeling of pride seeing someone you love come out the other side and be so strong and resilient in recovery. As I also said last week, I will accept the outcome of this case and will continue to respect the judicial process as Hunter considers an appeal. Jill and I will always be there for Hunter and the rest of our family with our love and support. Nothing will ever change that.

Wingnuts were furious.

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[Daily Beast / Joe. My. God / Politico]

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