Friday Blue State Hot Shit Special People’s Club Contest open for business! Plus your other Wonkette stories!

Well we sent out a midday roundup (did you read it? MAN it had some good posts in it!) and now it is time for your end of day roundup. How will I fuck up this one, HENGHHHH?

Trick question, I am perfect.

In addition to being perfect, my doctor says I don’t have cancer, so sorry if I yelled at you this week I HAVE FUCKING CANCER, I am the boy who cried cancer, but I’m fine now. Sorry again!

STORIES!

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Liz updates you on Ken Paxton, LOL.

TX AG Ken Paxton Says Voters Loved His Criming, And That Makes It Legal

I invited Montana to a party! (It is tomorrow! Montana should go!)

Missoula, Montana, You Get Your Ass Over Here!

Gary keeps up with James O’Keefe, but what the hell, Matt Phelan and Liz Farkas wrote it for The Nation, when they previously broke their O’Keefe investigations with us? Well, I still love them, they’re great.

Dildo Enthusiast James O’Keefe Facing Criminal Investigations, Is Dildo

I cannot even wrap my head around what Kyrsten Sinema of the Sinema Party is trying to claim here, but Miss Everything Has A Solution would like to mediate between the Biden admin and the Pentagon allowing servicemembers to travel for abortions, and Sen. Tommy Tuberville, who is willing to hold up all military promotions until they don’t. What’s the middle ground here, exactly? Fuck if she knows.

Kyrsten Sinema Being A Dingbat Again, This Time About Abortion

And this by Dok is the greatest thing. Yay Dok! Yay Maine! YAY US!

Let’s have a drink. It’s your open thread!

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