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The funniest thing has happened ever since Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito declared himself and his creeper god to be co-emperors of our underpants and decided to destroy everybody’s right to decide whether they want to be pregnant. When it’s put to a vote, Americans tell Alito to fuck off and get his nose outta there. When candidates have emphasized abortion rights in special elections, they’ve won.
And in a bunch of places last night, Americans got to vote directly on the issue, and the question was asked in different ways. And it appears at this point that in each and every case, Americans have told Alito to pound sand. Have told Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh that they are creeps and that they need to step away, otherwise we’re gonna call the cops. Have been so disgusted with Amy Coney Barrett they can’t even look at her and maybe she should just get the hell out of their sight.
We look forward to Alito’s continued whining on how Americans just don’t respect his authori-tah.
It didn’t matter where the votes happened either.
Kentucky’s legislature tried to ban abortion. Constitutional Amendment 2 ended up on the ballot to do the same, and Kentucky voters said fuck off. The “no’s” had it with 53 percent of the vote.
Voters in Vermont were asked if they wanted to enshrine abortion rights in their constitution. Fuck yes, they did. They approved Article 22 to the tune of 72 to 22, as of this writing. (As always with election results, exact numbers could change, like if they count more votes, or if one of Dinesh D’Souza’s mules shows up and says “EEEEEEE HAW, WONKETTE! I AM THE OFFICIAL MULE OF DEMOCRACY!” Usually the numbers change after that.)
Michiganders were asked to put abortion rights in their constitution and get rid of Michigan’s old-balls 1931 ban. They said you bet and approved Proposal 3, by 11 points.
In Montana, there’s one of those creepy lie-filled “born alive” ballot initiatives that forced birthers say is to protect little bitty babies who “survive abortions.” They call it the Born Alive Infant Protection Act, to make it sound like it isn’t evil. Really they just make life difficult for doctors and hurt families dealing with situations with tragic fetal anomalies, pregnancies that can’t survive. It’s not called yet, but right now the “no’s” have it by six points in that very Republican state, with 80 percent reporting.
Oh yeah, and Californians put abortion and contraception in their state constitution by approving Proposition 1.
According to exit polls, abortion was the top issue for one in four voters. That’s not nothing, kids.
And as a result there were also some more indirect wins for abortion. For instance, Pennsylvania voters so resoundingly telling Doug Mastriano to crawl under a Christian nationalist rock in hell and electing Democrat Josh Shapiro as governor means the state government won’t be limiting abortion rights.
Gretchen Whitmer re-elected governor of Michigan. Tony Evers re-elected governor of Wisconsin. We’re holding out hope for Laura Kelly to be re-elected governor of Kansas, but that one’s not over yet. But Kelly is in the lead, and in all those places that Democrat in the governor’s office matters for abortion rights.
And then there are situations like this that you definitely might not have heard about unless you’re a local:
In North Carolina, control of the state government is divided between Gov. Roy Cooper, a Democrat, and a Republican-controlled legislature. While Cooper is not facing re-election this year, Democrats fear Republicans could gain a supermajority in the state legislature and with it, the ability to pass abortion bans without the governor’s signature.
It’s almost like Americans like controlling their bodies and don’t want to have to beg Samuel Alito for permission to live their fucking lives.
I-Bortion, You-Bortion, we all scream for Bortion-Bortion. So say we all.
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