Dr. Oz Fails Common ‘How Many Houses Do You Own’ Brain-Teaser, What A Stupid Dumbass

The last blog post Wonkette had about Dr. Mehmet Oz, the Republican Senate candidate from New Jersey who would like to serve Pennsylvania, was about “sex robot.” We are sorry this one is not about anything as earthshaking as “sex robot.” We are simply back in the realm of “Where does Dr. Oz live and when did he know it?”

POP QUIZ: If somebody asked you how many houses you own, how many would you say? We are assuming for many people who are homeowners, the answer is “one.” If you have a lake house or a condo at the beach, you might say “two.” If you have those things and you also own a few rental properties, well, you’d hold your fingers in front of your face and you’d count them out, or maybe you would just know.

(Of course, in the state Mehmet Oz would like to serve, only 45.2 percent own at least one home, as of 2021. The rest — over half — would answer “zero.”)

Maybe you are an LLC and you own MANY properties and buy and sell them on a regular basis, so you might have trouble answering without looking it up. Or maybe you are just bugfuck rich like Dead John McCain, and golly, who knows! It’s all the condos that tripped him up.

You probably wouldn’t just fuckin’ lie though.

So Oz was on one of his trips to Pennsylvania, specifically at the Carbon County Fair in Palmerton, and somebody asked him:

“Legitimately, I own two houses,” he said, according to footage filmed by the operative and obtained by The Daily Beast.

Legitimately own? Sorry, we get a little whiplash when a Republican politician starts using words like “legitimate” as a qualifier. What is “legitimate” house?

Oz tried to explain:

“But one of them we’re building on, the other ones I rent,” Oz added.

Wait, what? So one of them is getting added on to, therefore does not count? And we can see that Oz does not mean he is renting houses from others, but rather that he rents them out — the Daily Beast notes that sometimes he rents to some pretty funky folks! But we feel like we need to gently explain to the snake oil doctor that even when you rent out a property you own for fun and profit, it still counts.

These are Dr. Oz’s houses, according to the journalism searching done by Daily Beast:

• a 9,000-square-foot mansion in New Jersey
• a 7,000-square-foot country house in Pennsylvania
• a condo in New Jersey
• a piece of residential real estate in Sariyer, Turkey
• another piece of residential real estate in Sariyer, Turkey
• a Manhattan condo
• another Manhattan condo
• an oceanside mansion in Palm Beach, Florida
• a cattle farm in Okeechobee, Florida
• and a piece of residential property in Konya, Turkey, which appears to be used as a student dormitory

That is 10. That we know of. We don’t know which the “legitimate” ones would be, between “house in Jersey, condo in Jersey, RELATIVELY NEWLY BOUGHT house in Pennsylvania, three places in Turkey, two condos in Manhattan, house in Florida, and farm in Florida.”

Oh yeah, and the Beast says Oz’s wife Lisa has a “mansion in Maine with her family and a pool house next to Oz’s New Jersey mansion.”

So that is more houses. Like, if the Count from “Sesame Street” was hired to count the houses in his blog post, he would not come up with “TWO LEGITIMATE HOUSES, HA HA HA HA HA!”

Giphy

More happened at the campaign stop with the mean person asking him to reveal all his houses:

After Oz tells him he “legitimately” only has two houses, the operative asks about one of the houses being the one where Oz married his wife.

“Actually, yeah, I’m renting that from my mother-in-law because we’re building the house next to it,” Oz said.

The operative doesn’t stick around very long for more questions. He simply says, “Oh, gotcha”—pun seemingly not intended—and adds that Oz’s situation is “very cool.”

“Thank you very much,” the operative says as he leaves and turns off his camera.

What?

Oz tried it again last night on the Twitter, with the being funny and the making zings at his opponent John Fetterman. It went so, so poorly.

To which Oz replied:

At which point a reporter from the Daily Beast popped in like WELL ACTUALLY with some more math:

And then there was just:

Dr. Oz, dude, you need to talk more about the crudités, everybody liked that way more than this horsehockey.

UPDATE:Oh my God.

[Daily Beast]

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