Your lazy Friday Labor Day weekend eve Wonkette news roundup!

Welcome to your Labor Day weekend eve news roundup! We’ll have VERY FEW posts this weekend, mostly just a couple a day to comment around (and a recipe hub from your friend Cakes We Like!), etc. Robyn is on duty to watch for absolutely must-hit breaking news, like say Dick Cheney dies or Obama kills Antonin Scalia again. If you are looking for directions to my Detroit Labor Day cookout on Monday, respond to this newsletter and I’ll hit you back! Happy Labor Day! We love you!

You came and got your tabs, right?

Want A Trendy Kitchen? You Might Have To Hide Your Sink. Tabs, Fri., Sept. 1, 2023

Evan was mad.

Some Idiot Tennessee DA Thinks He’s Going To Enforce Drag Ban Even A Trump Judge Called Stupid

This one was NUTS.

Matt Schlapp’s CPAC Team-Building Exercises Sound Fun, If You’re Into Exorcisms

This one is upsetting (so upsetting I sent it to you special).

Texas Gov Gifts Houston Schools Orderly, Robotic Efficiency, Stomping On Their Faces Forever

o.O

Lady With Fetuses In Coolers Convicted, But Not For The Fetuses In The Coolers

EXTREME ANGER EMOJI.

That Time Vivek Ramaswamy Fleeced Your Grandma, Who Has Alzheimer’s

What Robyn said.

Don’t Go Looking For Assassination Co-Conspirators On Craigslist

We’ll allow it.

Nebraska Gov’s Anti-Trans Executive Order Has State Legislator Lady Lookin’ To Punch Him Out

What is it with this guy and teenagers?

Ron DeSantis Sics Goons On 15-Year-Old Child Who Terrified Him With With Substantive Question

La Benincasa wrote you a PEOD (penultimate end of day) advice column!

Sex and Money and Emotions, Ew!

And Hooper made us a watermelon margarita, and then, at my request, went back and edited the recipe for batching, so I can make it for YOU on Monday, at my home in Detroit! Be there or be a JIVE TURKEY! (Unless you don’t live within driving distance of Detroit.)

Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, Watermelon Margaritas!