Wonkette’s Today in Bummers and Also RFK Jr.’s brain :/

SO many bummers today, you guys! But at least we never got around to writing about the thing in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s brain :/

(Dok drew the short straw and has to do it tomorrow.)

OH OH OH I forgot to newsletter you yesterday, here’s what’s important!

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled today!

There were some tabs! (They felt kind of short TBH.)

The 7 Deadliest Palm Beach Socialites With Murder In Their Hearts! Tabs, Wed., May 8, 2024

She just keeps trying, long after America came together as one to kick her ass down to the quarry.

Kristi Noem Taken To Gravel Pit By … [CHECKS NOTES] … Newsmax And Fox Business?

Marcie on Trump x Stormy: The Grossening!

Trump Trial Day 13: OH S**T, It’s Stormy Daniels!

Cool happy nerd stuff! (This might be the only not-a-bummer today, I’m not sure, I have to look again.)

So Much Clean Energy News!

None of us is happy that “tradwife” Lauren Southern realized it’s a bad path after marrying an abusive piece of shit.

Lauren Southern Discovers REAL Reason Feminists Keep Trying To Destroy The Family! (No, But She Really Does.)

An aforementioned bummer!

Mar-a-Lago Mildred Couldn’t Possibly Start Trump’s Classified Docs Trial Now, Reschedules It For Hopefully Never?

You should tell people about things Joe Biden is doing for America, because literally nobody has ever heard of any of it.

LIVE: Biden Explains What He Has Done For You Lately, Tell All Your Friends! (Seriously, Tell Them.)

Le Bummer Pt Deux!

Georgia: Let Them Eat Jim Crow!

Less of a bummer!

Zombie Nikki Haley Pulls 22 Percent In Indiana GOP Primary, Probably Bad News For Biden Somehow

People are disgusting, and REAL FUCKIN BUMMER. (But at least dude got threw out his fraternity.)

They’re all up in their feelings again. Be kind.

Fox News He/Hims Feeling Very Triggered By Scouts’ New Woke, Boyless Name

Well, that was today for you! See you bright and early for tabs!