Wonkette today: Kisses OF LOVE!

You know what I haven’t done lately? Sent you a LOVE NOTE of THANKS and HAPPINESS!

Well I’m NOT TODAY EITHER, you BIG JERKS! Instead, it’s your roundup, just like every day except when I forget or don’t feel like it!

Here were your tabs! I have been informed my tabs are the best morning news roundup in the ENTIRE INTERNET.

Is It Cheaper To Book Your Airfares And Hotels Directly Or Not? Tabs, Wed., Feb. 14, 2024

Man they just keep going don’t they!

Mayorkas Impeached, Reason TBD At Later Date, Or Never, Whatever

😀 😀 😀

Wisconsin Republicans Pass Dem Governor’s Gay Maps, To Stop State Supremes From Making Even Gayer Maps

This was hilarious. Unlike poor Rob Schneider :/

Oh Boy, Rob Schneider Is Gonna Be Makin’ Copies For RFK’s Big ‘Night Of Laughter’!

This was really sweet, because Sara has a good heart of sweetness. Also funny too also!

Last-Minute Valentines For Hot People

Yeah, so apparently the impossibly hard task of getting a bill up over the speaker’s objections is “have a simple majority.” Oh … no?

Poor Coward House Speaker Mike Johnson Just Ain’t Know What To Do About This Here Ukraine Aid!

Our new pal Marcie was real mean to Jared Kushner, that’s a shame.

Jared Kushner Shows Face In Public, Living His Best $2 Billion Life

Well that’s good.

Democrat Tom Suozzi Wins George Santos’s Former Seat, Will Remove Whoopie Cushion And Nobel Prize

HELLO WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON PLEASE. (Apparently it is “Russia” AND “space.”)

Is It Time To Panic? Or Is Everything Cool? Please Advise.

Sniff sniff nice time sniff.

Look At This Hippie Jerk Who Gave His Company To His Workers … Waaaait A Minute.

Look at this asshole. LOL.

DEAR MELANIA: ROSES ARE RIGGED, VIOLETS ARE STOLLEN, GIVE ME 47 DOLLARS, WITCH HUNT!

But for real, we really do love you, though. Thank you for being our friend.