Wonkette News of Today: Yes, ALL OF IT.

There were some tabs! I think I might have been hallucinating while writing them? They are a big crazy mess!

Maggots Rain Down On Delta Passengers From Overhead Bin! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 16, 2024

This was a BIG ONE. Did it work to smush Tucker in with Navalny? Yes. Yes it did. Because literally four days ago he was saying look, leaders kill people, okay?

Navalny Interrupts Putin PR Agent Tucker Carlson’s Work By Dropping Dead

Another big one! The “Impeachment” star witness — no, the REAL impeachment, the one of Joe Biden! — arrested for making up everything he told the FBI. Fiddlesticks!

James Comer’s Star Witness Indicted For Makin’ Up Sh*t About Bidens, Just Like Comer Does!

House Ethics Committee has texts and a witness. Sorry about your lunch 🙁

‘Sex Parties With Matt Gaetz’ Literally The Last Thing We Wanted To Think About This Morning

Robyn did a Nice Time!

Oh Washington State Just Gonna Pay Workers To Strike, Huh? Yes? Well Then That’s Great!

HE IS TRYING TO FIND THE GUY WHO DID THIS!

Florida Book Bans Have Really Gone Overboard If Even Ron DeSantis Noticed

Ew. Don’t do that.

Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Do Blackface With The Samples In Sephora

Somehow it just never comes out how they want it to.

Conservative TV Host Ponders What ‘Good Guy’ Hitler Could Have Done With All That Nationalism

And what we’ve all been waiting for: A LOL! 😀 😀 😀

Oh Brother, Can You Spare Donald Trump A Dime?

Gary will be back in the morning with joynuggets from Judge Engoron’s ruling. Plus we’ll have your other fun weekend stuff too!

Now? Time for a drink.

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, The Admiral Schley Highball!