What a day, with your Wonkette day of news!

Sorry I’m late, I was rewatching Joe’s SOTU with Old Mom and Shy. Look! I blooged it at you here!

Now we are watching Katie Britt (I watched it last night obviously) and my mom and son and husband are all yapping instead of paying ATTENTION. ATTENTION MUST BE PAID!

My Name Is Katie Britt, And I Am Singing ‘Tomorrow’ From ‘Annie’ In The Style Of ‘Birth Of A Nation’

Girl, damn.

Some more SOTU coming at you! Like this important Wonkette investigation!

During SOTU, Did House Speaker Mike Johnson Need To Poop? Wonkette Zapruders!

George Santos was there!

George Santos, Pulitzer Prize Winner And Rangers All-Star Goalie, Returns To Run For Congress Again

Oh did Joe talk about (FINALLY) fixing the lead pipes? Well Kris Kobach is. not. having. it.

Kris Kobach Yells At Joe Biden: Kansas Wants To EAT MORE LEAD.

And finally!

Joe Biden Gave A Hell Of A Speech And The Hit Dogs Hollered

Were there other topics of conversation today? Sure why not!

There were some tabs!

A Seriously Spectacular House On The Coast Of Peru! Tabs, Fri., March 8, 2024

And furthermore!

RFK Jr. Group Takes Bold Stand Against Vaccines For Things Vaccines Have Already Eradicated

Always listen to Tom Hanks. SO HE CAN EAT THE BABIES.

Tom Hanks Mad He Didn’t Learn About The Tulsa Massacre In School, And He’s Right

I don’t even have anything for this. Robyn does though!

If Capital Punishment Is So Great, Why Are Death Penalty States So Shady About It?

Let’s talk about this cat.

Is My Cat Trying to Kill Me?

What time is it? It’s time for this drink!

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, The Mexican Firing Squad!

Come see us over the weekend for more stories, GOODBYE!

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