Aw nuts, y’all. Turns out Alabama shouldn’t have let that damned hick coach escape his football field and start pretending to be the senator.
Tommy Tuberville has released the bulk of his holds on military nominations, leaving only the few that are at the four-star level. He had been hurting America’s national security and fucking our military without its permission for months and months, because his chickenshit yokel ass thought Jesus was upset about Joe Biden’s Pentagon abortion policy. Joe Biden’s Pentagon had to create a way to help troops who needed to travel for abortion care because the illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, thereby declaring itself the decider-in-chief of all of America’s pregnancies.
What we are saying is that actions have consequences. And if you follow all of the actions and consequences back to their original source, you reach the natural conclusion that if Sam Alito’s mom had heard the Good News about abortion, maybe none of this would have ever happened.
But anyway, the ineffective loser and coward Tommy Tuberville!
“It’s been a long fight, we fought hard,” Tuberville said after announcing his decision to his colleagues at a closed-door lunch. “We just released them.” […]
“We got all we could get,” he told reporters.
Nothing, he got nothing. The Pentagon hasn’t changed its abortion policy. But if you are a troop and you need an abortion, it’s officially legal to go to the nearest abortion clinic and say “Give me a Deluxe Tuberville.” (It comes with a guarantee that their fetus will never make it to their endzone LMAO.)
This happened today because Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer was going to introduce a rule change to go around Tuberville, and it had the necessary Republican support to pass. (At this point even Republicans hate his ass. At least the ones who care about national security, or claim to. And the ones who don’t want the Democrats to have even more ways to say “Look at those Republican motherfuckers who hate abortion and hate the troops,” since most Americans love abortion and the troops.)
The Washington Post notes that as of November 27, Tuberville had fucked over 451 senior officers, including ones very important to the regions around Israel and Ukraine. That number would have gone nothing but up if the Senate hadn’t figured out a way to get its Tubervilles tied.
But it did, and Christmas came early for all the troops, because baby Jesus hates Tommy Tuberville, the end.
OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
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