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Republican Dr. Mehmet Oz is currently losing the Pennsylvania Senate race to actual Pennsylvania resident and Democratic lieutenant governor John Fetterman. TV’s Dr. Oz is more an entertainer than a competent doctor or political candidate, so it’s been highly entertaining to watch his campaign flail about helplessly like a turtle flipped on its back.
Fetterman even took time off the campaign trail to recover from a goddamn stroke, and the best Dr. Oz has been able to do is insist Fetterman is Bernie Sanders in a hoodie, which by the way is an adorable image.
PREVIOUSLY: Dr. Oz Keeps Forgetting He’s Not Running Against His Old Buddy Bernie Sanders
Even a recent poll from Dr. Oz’s beloved Fox News showed Fetterman pants-ing him by double digits. Dr. Oz needs to get serious, especially now that his opponent has actively resumed campaigning.
So, no more fooling around with goofy, poorly photoshopped memes. Dr. Oz has hit Fetterman with a goofy, poorly photoshopped campaign ad.
OK, so what the hell is this? The supposedly professional political ad looks like the intro to the 1980s “Hey Vern, It’s Ernest” Saturday morning kids show.
The ad “opens up” Fetterman’s head to reveal lots of “loose screws,” as well as a comically large bong, because he supports legalizing weed. A recent poll shows that 48.5 percent of Pennsylvania voters support legalization. It’s not a fringe position, nor is universal healthcare, which the ad dismisses as another one of Fetterman’s “crazy ideas.” Most Americans don’t support private insurers leaving them to die.
Dr. Oz continues trying to anchor Fetterman with Sanders and scary brown lady Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, neither of whom are running in this Senate election.
The rest of the ad is filled with typical Republican lies about how Fetterman wants to empty Pennsylvania prisons and flood the streets with axe murderers. He’s gonna raise your taxes and slow energy production! The ad warns that “gas prices will skyrocket,” as a result of Fetterman’s policies. Gas prices in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, where Dr. Oz is more familiar, have steadily decreased over the past few weeks.
Republicans have expressed concern with Dr. Oz’s crappy fundraising skills and underwater favorability ratings. This ad probably won’t convince them that Dr. Oz has control of his deteriorating situation. Fetterman can resist Dr. Oz’s weak-ass attacks because Pennsylvania voters know and trust him. Meanwhile, Fetterman has done a great job making Dr. Oz look creepy and weird.
In fairness, Dr. Oz has been very cooperative. Remember his Republican primary closing pitch? He said, like a perfectly normal person, “When you go to bed at night, put your head on that soft pillow, you’ll know Oz will be doing exactly what you want him to do if you were there next to him.”
And who can forget back in April, when Dr. Oz went grocery shopping (without a cart) to demonstrate the horrible impact of Joe Biden’s inflation?
“Thanks to Joe Biden,” he complained, “my wife’s crudité will cost $20.” Oh no, not Mrs. Dr. Oz’s crudité! This once proud nation is unrecognizable to me. You coastal elites probably don’t know what a “crudité platter” is, but Dr. Oz patiently breaks down the ingredients.
“So, here’s a broccoli. That’s two bucks, well, that’s a ton of broccoli there. There’s some asparagus. That’s $4. Carrots. That’s four more dollars. That’s $10 of vegetables there, and then we need some guacamole. That’s $4 more. She loves salsa, yeah, salsa there. $6? Must be a shortage of salsa. Guys, that’s $20 for crudite, and this doesn’t include the tequila. I mean, that’s outrageous.”
Dr. Oz apparently buys pre-made guacamole and serves it to his guests. What kind of fiend are we dealing with?
He filmed his absurd shopping trip in April, when it originally received 260,000 views. Today, just after Dr. Oz released his Fetterman bong ad, the video resurfaced and has over 1.6 million views. He just can’t win.
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