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The updates keep coming on what may be the worst week of Donald Trump’s life so far, the week he’s unable to make his $454 million civil fraud bond in New York.
Is there an OnlyFans fetish market for Yeti pubes and failure? Can he sell his plasma? What about DoorDash? Can he deliver that on his golf cart? And good lord, are there NO hostile foreign powers to bail him out, now that he’s proven himself to be a world-historical loser who can’t deliver?
CNN reports that Trump is freaking the fuck out, trying to find rich supporters to grift and assets to sell, and quickly. He apparently really thought that company Chubb — the one that underwrote his bond in the civil case of the woman he raped, then defamed repeatedly, oh, and, in a fraud ouroboros, that one that originally did the penthouse “appraisal” for which he just earned that judgment for which he is currently trying to find a bond! — was going to come through here too, but they told him to fuck off.
And he’s “increasingly concerned” — probably pants-pissing scared, more like it — of what it’s going to look like if/when the March 25 deadline comes and he really can’t make bond. Those fucking idiots who love him really think he’s a successful businessman, because they’re dumb cows who don’t know any better, who thought “The Celebrity Apprentice” was a documentary.
Obviously, we all saw evidence of Trump’s state of mind as we watched him melt down on Truth Social yesterday.
Trump’s campaign says all reports about Trump freaking out are lies, and you can tell they’re telling the truth because of how cool, calm and collected their denials are:
“These baseless innuendos are pure bullsh*t,” Trump campaign spokesman Steven Cheung said in a statement Tuesday. “President Trump has filed a motion to stay the unjust, unconstitutional, un-American judgment from New York Judge Arthur Engoron in a political Witch Hunt brought by a corrupt Attorney General. A bond of this size would be an abuse of the law, contradict bedrock principals of our Republic, and fundamentally undermine the rule of law in New York.”
Hahahaha, clean up on aisle Mar-a-Lago, they’re queenin’ the fuck out.
Also it’s “principles,” but we understand if poor Steven Cheung was just hysterically screaming into his voice text and didn’t proof it.
As for that stay request, New York Attorney General Letitia James responded in a filing this morning that if Trump is having a hard time finding one entity to bond his $454 million judgment, he’s always free to split it up among however many sugar daddies he needs to. She also responded to Trump’s whining that no companies will accept his real estate as collateral, saying that “sureties may have refused to accept defendants’ specific holdings as collateral because using Mr. Trump’s real estate will generally need ‘a property appraisal’ and his holdings are not nearly as valuable as defendants claim.”
Which is … damn.
So anyway!
One thing Trump really doesn’t want to do, reportedly, is file bankruptcy. The New York Post is a bullshit paper, but this kind of seedy New York business gossip is its bread and butter, and its sources say Trump might not post bond at all, and instead let Tish James seize Trump Tower. Or other buildings. Or bank accounts.
But surprise, it’s not because he’s humbled. It’s because he’s always letting people blow kisses up his rectum that say he’s going to win on appeal, or even that the Supreme Court will give it back, eventually!
It’s an option Trump appears to have considered – partly because he believes the chances are good that he could recover the assets on appeal, even if he is forced to take his case to the US Supreme Court, according to friends.
“Even if there is a taking, it doesn’t mean he can’t take it back later,” a source close to Trump told The Post.
LMAO. Would that be before or after Tish James sells all his shit on Facebook Marketplace?
Trump thinks he has a strong case. He thinks he’s making sense when he says this is going to make businesses flee New York, as if everybody is as pathetic a criminal as he is. (We aren’t saying there aren’t a bunch of corporate criminals in New York. We’re saying there are none so breathtakingly stupid.)
Look at this delusional wishful thinking:
Among other considerations, if the decision is not overturned, “it will have a chilling effect on people who do business in New York because it could happen to anyone,” according to one insider.
“There will be severe consequences — not an insurrection. People will stop doing business in New York. No one will take the risk, and lenders are now spooked. The real estate market is already a disaster, with office buildings worth a fraction of what they were once worth, and there are metastasizing effects when a large part of the city’s budget is from real estate.”
Bless. His. Goddamned. Heart.
In summary and in conclusion, happy 18th birthday, Barron Trump!
This has been a blog post about your good-for-nothing piece of shit deadbeat dad.
[CNN / New York Post]
YESTERDAY!
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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