OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Helplast night [four or seven or nine years ago, whenever] and according to Minnie, not only will Crisco soften your elbows but it is the Platonic Ideal for frying chicken. That thing was like a 2 hour and 30 minute Crisco commercial, with racism! We will buy a jar immediately! BUT. Did you happen to notice that thing above? It is a recipe from Rush’s mom, as also discovered by the Crap Archivist, in “Recipes from Old Cape Girardieu.”
That, Wonkados, is what a young Rush Limbaugh ate for a treat: jello with pineapple and stuffed olives. AND MIRACLE WHIP ON TOP. Not Cool Whip — that lovely fake whipped cream in a tub — but Miracle Whip, the mayonnaise blended with salad dressing.
Now we will transcribe that screenshot for the viewing-impaired!
Dissolve one box lime jello in 3/4 cups hot water; add 3/4 cups ice water to cool mixture. To this add one small can crushed pineapple and one small jar of sliced stuffed olives. Let jell. Dissolve a second package of lime jello in one and one half cups of water. When cool, add one small package of Philadelphia cheese cut into bits; one half cup of Miracle Whip, and when it has started to jell, one half cup of pecans. Pour second layer over the first and let set. — Mrs. Rush H. Limbaugh Sr.
And now we know who is to blame for Rush Limbaugh turning out that way.
[ VillageVoice ]
