Steve Doocy woke up on the less stupid side of the bed this morning, and when he got to work on “Fox & Friends,” he was absolutely appalled by what he learned about the new government filing about Donald Trump’s stolen treason documents.
So when he was interviewing emptyheaded dumbfuck South Dakota Republican Governor Kristi Noem, he decided to ask questions like “WHY DID HE HAVE ALL THAT SECRET STUFF AT MAR-A-LAGO?”
They were good questions!
Doocy said he knew Trump and his idiot lawyers have said Trump declassified all those documents, but “that’s news to the agencies that those documents belong to!” Doocy was appalled that “he had apparently three classified documents in his desk!”
Doocy explained what some of the markings on those cover sheets in the photo the Justice Department released meant, noting that these are “the biggest secrets in the world.” Doocy wanted to know, “Why wouldn’t he say, ‘You know what? I really need to turn that back over.’ Why did he have all that stuff at Mar-a-Lago?”
In response, Kristi Noem blarpled out some nonsense like BLARPLE BLARPLE BLARPLE, stupid words about how she’s dumb enough to believe Trump actually declassified this stuff, and then more stupid words about how we should look at the “precedent” of what past presidents have done. Like we said, fuckin’ idiot.
To which Doocy replied, “Governor, I don’t think any president has ever carted off that many documents to their house after they left the presidency.”
We are not sure we have ever said this, but three cheers for Steve Doocy, for the good questions and the best words!
It’s always interesting to see at which moments Republicans and conservative media types choose to stop eating the magic mushrooms that grow in the moist thickets of Donald Trump’s undercarriage and come back to reality. At least for today, Steve Doocy is among the normals.
Will he go back to the bad place tomorrow? Yeah maybe. He is a Fox News idiot, after all, and his paycheck depends on him barfing out propaganda to America’s dumbest white people.
However, Mediaite points to several notable instances lately of Doocy arguing on the sane side of the fence, suggesting that the threats against FBI people need to stop, and pushing back hard on lying asshole Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-NY) when she started calling the FBI’s obviously justified search of Mar-a-Lago “un-American.” He’s given Rand Paul shit. He’s given Steve Scalise shit.
Credit where credit is due.
Later on, Trump-loving swollen bobblehead Dan Bongino was chatting with Brian Kilmeade, safely inside their secret treehouse where Steve Doocy isn’t allowed to come in and be mean to them and make them look stupid by pointing out that FBI Director Chris Wray was literally handpicked by Donald Trump. Oh goodness, they were pissed at Steve Doocy, but they did not say his name. No, those two guys are too clever for that:
BONGINO: You know what I like about working here is there’s a lot of different people with a lot of different opinions, even on the couch. [COUGH COUGH STEVE COUGH COUGH — Ed.] I disagree strongly with people at the network [STEVE — Ed.] who want to default to trusting the FBI, because I ask the question — Brian, I’m not suggesting this is you, of course [HE MEANS STEVE — Ed.] — but why would you trust the FBI when it comes to Trump? Can you give me a reason, anyone?
KILMEADE: None … Zero. [STEVE! — Ed.]
BONGINO: Where have they shown any documented history of unbiased, nonpartisan law-enforcement-type activity? The answer is in no Trump case ever. So your default defense of the FBI is outrageous. [STEVE AGAIN! — Ed.]
So that was embarrassing.
Mediaite explains that Bongino further whined about what all the “leftist media losers” were saying, and again bitched about “even some friends of mine on the network.” All his reasons for not trusting the FBI, of course, are paint-huffing rightwing conspiracy theories that don’t deserve to be reprinted anywhere.
Wanna see two those two thinking wizards talking about whatever comes to mind, while encouraging each other to keep having more thoughts?
The rest of the commentary on Fox News has been just as brain-damaged as you’d expect.
Empty windsocks Jason Chaffetz and Dana Perino had a lengthy back-and-forth about how very misleading the FBI’s picture of all Trump’s STOLEN TRAITOR SECRETS was, the way they arranged everything on the floor like that. (Clearly taking a cue from Trump’s own deranged whines about how the FBI arranged his stolen state secrets on his ugly carpet.) Perino worried that “the visual, Jason, might leave people with the wrong impression.” You know, if you’re very stupid.
Lara Trump got to blabber on and on, while being identified as a “Fox News contributor,” as opposed to “just the daughter-in-law of the guy who betrayed his country.”
If you’re interested in what the daughter-in-law of the guy who betrayed his country has to say while playing the role of “Fox News contributor,” knock yourself out, but we’re pretty sure the content of her words is absolutely fucking immaterial.
Maybe she can do some Fox News contributor work the day they arrest him, especially if it turns into some kind of extremely tacky Branch Davidian standoff situation and they have to fly news helicopters above Mar-a-Lago and we get to watch it on TV all day long.
[Mediaite]
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!
