Y’all remember when undead “Buffy” villain, National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC) chair, and United States Senator from the great state of Florida Rick Scott released his 11-point plan to skullfuck America?
As Wonkette noted at the time, it was kind of like the Unabomber’s manifesto, if the Unabomber’s manifesto was full of talking points about raising taxes on the poor. It declared “socialism” to be a “foreign combatant,” abolished the Department of Education, and said all federal laws would sunset every five years, so goodbye, Social Security and Medicare! It said to finish the Mexican border wall and name it after Donald Trump, because Scott apparently needed us to know exactly where his tongue was when he was writing this.
Oh yes, and it said, “the earth is round, the sun is hot, there are two genders, and abortion stops a beating heart.” He said to say otherwise is to “deny science,” which is funny because most abortions don’t do fuckall with a “heart,” since despite what religious right liars say, early stage fetuses do not have heartbeats. But that’s a tangent and not what this post is about.
Point is, his Batboy manifesto was full of cracks like the one about two genders, and other dogwhistles about “religious freedom” and “protecting the family” that any religious-Right wackass would recognize as anti-LGBTQ dog treats for them to jump up and catch in the air. He is not the rare Republican who thinks LGBTQ people are people or anything. He’s garbage.
Which is why it’s kinda funny that Rick Scott is just SHOCKED! and APPALLED! and OH MY SHINY HAIRLESS HEAD! about the truly vile Texas GOP platform, which Wonkette wrote about the other day. Remember? It called homosexuality an “abnormal lifestyle choice” and said nobody should have “special legal status” because they are LGBTQ. Also, “We oppose all efforts to validate transgender identity.” And BIG support for discredited “pray away the gay” and “pray away the transgender” child abuse “therapy.”
And now Senator Queer Eye over here is saying the Texas GOP platform isn’t “inclusive”:
“My experience is, you know, the Republican Party is inclusive. And so I don’t — I wouldn’t have supported that, what they did,” Scott said when pressed on the homophobic language, which he said was not inclusive.
In his experience, as a half-human-looking heterosexual white man from Florida, the GOP has always been a very inclusive place!
Scott also said he didn’t like the parts of the platform that called Joe Biden an “acting” commander-in-chief and suggested he was not legitimately elected.
What a WOKE he is. What a big RINO and a WOKE. And a GROOMER probably. What a RINO WOKE-WAD GROOMER.
Hey, whatcha doin’, Rick Scott? Going on a date with Mickey Mouse to the Drag Queen Story Hour? Gonna have dessert at the Abortion On Demand Stand?
Gentle suggestion: Rick Scott — who is literally right this moment coming up with new ways to fuck poor people, because that’s what really mashes his pleasure button — is just mad the Texas GOP is saying all these things so loudly where everybody can hear them.
Nothing more, nothing less. He’s old school Republican on this. You’re not supposed to say it that loud.
In related news, the Log Cabin Republicans are also pretending to be very upset by the Texas Republican platform, because they’re self-loathing white assholes who still don’t get that when the pogroms start, they won’t be exempted just because they believe some of the same bigoted things as the fascists they worship.
When they say they hate the gays, they mean you too, my dudes. Sorry.
But we won’t spend any more unnecessary time with the Log Cabin Republicans, because fuck ’em.
(Don’t fuck ’em. Ever.)
[AP]
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