Poor Sad Stupid Marjorie Taylor Greene Lost All Her Fake Friends ​

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene briefly flirted with respectability, and respectability was rightly appalled. She endorsed Kevin McCarthy’s speaker bid early on and even whipped votes on his behalf. This didn’t quell a far-right rebellion against McCarthy, led by Rep. Matt Gaetz, that has pantsed the speaker wannabe on the House floor three times so far and counting. (Join us at noon liveblogging more fun!)

Tuesday morning, before McCarthy’s failed speaker votes, Greene told reporters a story of betrayal and mayhem within the Republican caucus … so, the usual.

“We found out that there were several members — three, in fact — that went in last night and were demanding positions for themselves, demanding gavel positions, demanding sub-committees, demanding for people to be taken off committees and people to be put on … THREE. Three Republicans out of our 222. I want you all to know that I have not done that for myself.” The Mother Theresa from Georgia continued, “The only thing I have done is debate and request and argue amongst my peers for the right things, for the rules package and for our agenda for the American people. I haven’t asked for one thing for myself.”

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Butt Plugs And Insurrection: The Marjorie Taylor Greene Story

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She insists it’s all about policy and not her own personal advancement, which you could believe if you never read the news or lacked a short-term memory. In an October New York Times Magazine profile, she said that if McCarthy wanted to be “the best Speaker of the House and to please the base, he’s going to give me a lot of power and a lot of leeway. And if he doesn’t, they’re going to be very unhappy about it. I think that’s the best way to read that. And that’s not in any way a threat at all. I just think that’s reality.”

OK, gangsters say, “This isn’t a threat. This is reality” when threatening people. Greene talked tough, and McCarthy might’ve suitably placated her. However, that wasn’t enough for Greene’s former friends on the House Freedom Caucus. She specifically called out by name Gaetz, whom she toured with in a traveling freak show, and Rep. Lauren Boebert, who’s tried to make Greene the “Rhoda” of their relationship.

Greene also seemed hurt that during their big Five Families conference meeting, her former buddies never once considered her while shaking down McCarthy.

“I’m the only Republican that has zero committees. So you would think I would be the one in there asking for something.” The Democratic-controlled House stripped Paul Gosar of his committee assignments last year after he shared violent videos depicting Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s murder. “But I haven’t done that.” She doesn’t need to do this, because master negotiator McCarthy already promised to restore Greene’s committee assignments if Republicans gained the majority. “But I find out that it’s my Freedom Caucus colleagues and my supposed friends that went and did that. They asked nothing for me. Nothing. That’s what I found out in there. I am furious.”

She’s something, all right. Did she forget she’s a Republican? Gaetz and Boebert aren’t her union delegates. It’s every Ayn Rand for themselves.

Like McCarthy, Greene thought Tuesday would prove her day of triumph, as well. She’d officially join the movers and shakers. Instead, she was left powerless and alone. My poor, beleaguered fellow University of Georgia alum retreated to Twitter in her defeat. She glumly responded to a video of Gosar confabbing with Ocasio-Cortez: “First [Matt] Gaetz and [Bob] Good, now Gosar. They never talk to her.”

Greene and I are from the same graduating class, so I can fairly state that she is too damn old to be this high school. Yes, the boys from her clique are hanging with AOC between classes. No one’s talking to Greene right now because she’s useless. Her own far-right fans are starting to turn on her because of her continued support of McCarthy. Greene and McCarthy tied their futures together and discovered they’re both giant anchors. Catch you at rock bottom.

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