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Who wants a poll of who Americans want to vote for after The Day Everything Changed, AKA that debate where Joe Biden made a “huh?” face too many times after being shot in the face with a pearl necklace of lies by Donald Trump, the convicted felon rapist traitor pearl necklace lie shooter who wants to be America’s fascist dictator?
Nobody? OK well what if we told you it was commissioned by Politico, and it includes Hillary Clinton for some no reason?
Politico Playbook isn’t even pretending they are not doing what they doing here. “DEPT. OF SHIT-STIRRING” is the header at the top of Playbook today, and they come right out and say it in the headline for the individual article too:
Oh fuck off.
But yet there is an entire article! In Politico! A Politico article!
The poll, from the Democratic firm Bendixen & Amandi, and shared ONLY with Politico, says Joe Biden is “in contention” after Debatey McDebateFace, and by “in contention” they mean Donald Trump “leads” Biden by 43 to 42.
So, uh, tied. And well within the margin of error.
Which is funny, because the other numbers for Biden — the ones about “does he have the mental capacity and stamina?” and “should he drop out?” — they ain’t great, at least among the likely voters who watched the debate. One might even call them very bad.
Which might suggest that maybe the real story of this election is how universally loathed Donald Trump is, and that Americans would vote for a syphilitic rock over him.
But that’s not what this Politico article, nor this Wonkette article, is about. We are here to talk about:
Oh fuck you.
Why is Hillary Clinton in there? Because these are not serious people. Because of all the people involved in this discussion right now, 80 percent are media hacks, 80 percent are unserious shit-stirring chaos agents from Twitter, and another 80 percent are some combination of both. (Margin of error of suck my balls.)
But sure. Kamala Harris is up by one over Trump. (Within margin of error.) Hillary Clinton is up by two. (Within margin of error.)
“I’m really surprised by Hillary’s strength,” [said pollster Fernand Amandi]. “While some dismiss her as yesterday’s news and a candidate of the past, voters at least in this poll suggest they may be open to a Clinton comeback and that a ticket with Clinton as president and Harris as vice president is even ‘stronger together’” he added, referring to the slogan for Clinton’s unsuccessful campaign in 2016.
Oh fuck you.
The only reason this is funny to imagine is because of what would happen IF somehow Hillary Clinton pulled some kind of pantsuits-ex-machina move and became president at the last minute, and that is only funny because we are imagining hordes upon hordes of MAGA voters throwing themselves from the tops of whatever shallow dumpsters they’re currently swimming in, as a protest, all dramatic like “GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!” and they drop four whole feet.
And yes, that is funny.
Here is the only thing in the entire poll that’s worthwhile, we think:
[S]ome 53 percent in the poll said they view Trump becoming president as a grave danger to democracy in the U.S.
Yes.
We guess this part is interesting too:
[T]he poll included a provocative question that asked likely voters whether they would support Biden if he were cognitively diminished because of his age and unlikely to complete another four years — if it meant preventing Trump from winning.
Forty-eight percent of voters said they would not vote for Biden for that reason, versus 44 percent who said they would, including 75 percent of Democrats. The strongest demographic group for Biden was Black voters, 55 percent of whom said they would still support his run even if he suffered from age-related impairment and couldn’t make it to 2029.
Eyes on the ball. Defeat fascism in November.
Everything else is fuckallthatnoise.
[Politico]
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