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If your kids are like most kids, they probably want to go trick-or-treating on Halloween this year. But have you considered getting them exorcised? Well, if you live in Tennessee, that will be an option for you, as MAGA Pastor Greg Locke will be performing a mass exorcism of children, to rid them of demonic forces. What a normal and non-traumatizing way to spend an evening!
Not only that, Pastor Locke and his wife Tai (who was his secretary until he divorced his other wife a few years ago, and is likely just as holy) will be hosting a very exciting bonfire of “occult objects.”
The announcement on Instagram reads:
On Halloween night, we will be doing two very important things….
1. We will be conducting a mass deliverance service for children. Parents, don’t miss this opportunity to pray for the freedom and healing of your children. 95% of the adults we deal with In deliverance ministry have been under attack since they were kids. This will be a powerful move of the Lord.
2. We will once again be burning all things related to witchcraft and the occult. Ask the Lord to show you what’s in your home that needs to be removed. I can assure you, there are some items that must go.
Who among us would not just kill to find out what they come to that bonfire with? I bet you they all just cheat and run out to Home Goods and raid the Halloween sale section, grabbing all the gold skull soap pumps (I actually bought three, they’re super cute), Ouija Board kitchen floor mats and bat shaped ice cube trays they can find.
I would also love to know how people would know they were under attack from demons since childhood. How does this work? Are they the same demons or different demons? Is it that you get a couple of demons when you are a kid and then those same demons just stay with you and attack you for your whole life, or one demon attacks you and then tells the other demons what a good time he had attacking you and then they all show up and you become the new demon hotspot?
Greg Locke does not explain!
Of course, if you can’t be there, you can still exorcise your own demons at home, with his handy dandy Deliverance Handbook (which, hopefully, will not teach anyone to squeal like a pig.)
Now, the whole thing is 51 pages long, so we’re not gonna be fisking that today, but check out some of these fascinating “renunciations” the people being exorcised are supposed to do:
• I renounce all lust, perversion, immorality, uncleanness, impurity, adultery, fornication, pornography, and all sexual sin in Jesus’ name.
• I renounce every form of witchcraft, all sorcery, all divination, and all occult involvement known or unknown in the name of Jesus.
• I renounce any affiliation with the Catholic Church and its idolatry. I refuse to justify paganism. I release myself and my family in Jesus’ name from any generational curse that I have received from any and all false religions.
Wow! This guy really hates Catholics — and in a very creepy way that has nothing to do with any legitimate criticism of the Catholic Church, but which also makes Catholicism seem very cool and fun.
He’s also very upset about Masons and thinks that if your ancestor was a mason, you’re going to be cursed, sick and infested with demons.
I renounce any connection, known or unknown, that I have to the Masonic Lodge. Any secret society oath made by me or my ancestors is rendered powerless. I lift every curse, sickness, and demon that has resulted from the evil of freemasonry. In Jesus’ name, this evil power is broken and cannot continue to attack me and my family.
Seems like a really nice and normal exorcism they’ve got there! It’d be a real shame if someone showed up dressed like Linda Blair screaming “Your mother sucks cocks in hell!”
TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES!
