On Wednesday, The New York Post ran a rather ridiculous Halloween-themed article titled “How to use a Ouija board — your guide to communing with the dead safely this Halloween.”
Now, to be clear, this should have been a very short article. “Ouija boards aren’t real. You can talk to the dead all you want, but they’re not going to talk back, on account of how they are dead. You’re not talking to Fanny Brice, your sister is just fucking with you because you watch Funny Girl every day after school and swan around the house singing ‘Second Hand Rose’ on the reg,” would have sufficed.
But no, it was written by someone who actually believes in them and gave out hot tips like “Be polite” and “Don’t use one in a graveyard!” and apparently also writes horoscopes that “integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience.”
Astrology, to be clear, is also nonsense. Don’t believe me? Tell someone who believes in astrology that you are any other sign than you are and they will tell you “Oh, I totally knew that! You are such a Sagittarius!” and then when you say “Twist, I’m actually a Gemini, and you should probably Google ‘Barnum effect’,” they will say “Such a Gemini thing to do!”
But I digress. Not only did this New York Post article presume that Ouija boards, trademarked by Hasbro (previously Parker Brothers), can indeed put you in contact with Prince or your Great Aunt Gladys, the Twitter post promoting the article got more than 900 responses from blue checkmarks who also thought Ouija boards were real. And were very upset about it!
Let’s get some quotes, shall we?
It’s easy to use it correctly, you don’t, especially if you have no idea of the evil you’re playing with and what you’ll release into your lives.
Ex pagan here, don’t touch this!! Watch Halloweentown or a scary movie if you want. Don’t risk opening a jar you might not be able to close. This is not a toy to play with and no it is not something you can use safely. Especially if you’re getting your instructions from NY Post.
This one came from someone whose username is literally “Blackpilled Trad”
@CardinalDolan this is coming from within your Archdiocese. Are you going to teach and correct for the care of souls?
That’s the pathway to possession. Shame on you
Do you want “your guide to communing with the dead safely”? 1. Don’t use a Ouija Board. 2. Ask their intercession in prayer or offer prayer & sacrifice for their release from purgatory.
Is purgatory still a thing? I know limbo isn’t a thing anymore and they just … disappeared all the babies that were living there, but I’m not sure about purgatory.
“There shall not be found among you… a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord.”— Deuteronomy 18:10-12
These practices are banned by God because they are real, not because they are fake.
OK, but like … if God is in charge of everything, couldn’t he just make Ouija boards(TM) not work? Is he truly powerless against the forces of Hasbro?
Umm how about not telling people to summon up demons … it’s real. I’ve had two friends who played with it and some very strange things happened. One girl almost killed herself. Don’t play with the devil.
That one came from someone named Anna Khait, who was apparently a “Survivor” contestant who also worked “as an undercover journalist” for Project Veritas.
Stop normalizing demonic practices. If anyone is using or has used one of these turn away from it! Denounce it and repent. God is a loving God and wants to have a relationship with each one of us.
Really. You’re just going to outright tell people how to invite Satan into their lives now.
I feel like Satan would have better things to do than bounce from Ouija board to Ouija board. Isn’t that what minions are for?
Ouija boards open people up to demonic possessions and obsessions. This is not an innocent board game. Anyone that has played with this a feels something is not right after using it, please seek a priest to help you. If you’re lucky a simple confession will free you.
haven’t seen such widespread consensus in the reply section of a tweet before
And we can all thank Elon Musk for that. In fact, I am going to think of this every time I hear one of these types crying over how they don’t feel “heard” or how their voices are being silenced and how they had no choice but to invade the Capitol building because no one was listening to them. Because, to quote Jack Handy, “Yes, you can talk, but listen to yourself.”
When I saw this NYP post about using the Ouija Board I was trying to find a way that didn’t sound superstitious or religiously dogmatic to say DON’T DO IT. Now I don’t have to worry; the other posts have said it for me.
I have some bad news for you, my dude. People who aren’t superstitious or religiously dogmatic don’t actually believe that Ouija boards do anything other than give kids an opportunity to scare themselves and/or fuck with their friends at slumber parties.
It seems like it’s one thing to have deeply held religious beliefs and another to, for real, as an adult person, think that playing with a Ouija board is going to result in summoning demons or being possessed. That there are 900 people out there, on social media, who are that legitimately worked up over this is like stumbling upon 900 adults who still believe in the Tooth Fairy. Not only that, these are the people who have paid to be seen more, to have their thoughts and takes boosted to the top of all replies.
What could possibly go wrong?
