Y’all, we are thinking maybe things are not going 100 percent #BeBest in the Republican races for Senate.
We just discussed how in Georgia, Herschel Walker is such a prodigious liar, his campaign doesn’t believe a word he says, and oh yeah, they’re investigating what might be a fourth secret child.
There’s a story in The Intercept you might want to take a lookie dookie at, what’s about sitting Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson’s campaign having to frantically pull a radio ad that hadn’t even run yet, on account of how it said, “The latest mass murder in America didn’t involve guns,” when in fact the latest mass murder in the United States had just happened, just south of the state line from Wisconsin in Highland Park, Illinois.
And now cometh a story in Politico about how in Pennsylvania, newly crowned GOP nominee Dr. Mehmet Oz appears to have forgotten to campaign for US senator. Oops. Is there a debunked hydroxychloroquine cure for lazyass, Doctor?
Now, to be entirely fair, and before we reprint any more shitty gossip from Politico (scroll down), maybe Oz thought that because John Fetterman (who’s beating him in the polls) was off the campaign trail BECAUSE HE WAS RECOVERING FROM A STROKE, then that means the law says he also gets a vacation from running for Senate, because Even Steven and Time Out-sies. Politico Playbook reported yesterday that Fetterman should be back out there very soon, so maybe Oz will come back a-roarin’ with his verbal talons sharpened for political combat. Verbal talons? Yes, his mouth claws!
God, Wonkette is exhausted.
Politico says nobody has endorsed Oz, and he hasn’t been on the airwaves since May 21. Politico says John Fetterman “has been setting the pace of the campaign,” despite how STROKE.
And Pennsylvania Republicans say WTFFFFFFFF:
“I don’t have much confidence in their campaign,” said Arnie McClure, chair of the Huntingdon County Republican Party. […]
“[Oz] came in a distant third in my county, so I called them up and said, ‘You need to talk to our people to change their mind and our mind and I’ll help you do that.’ And I don’t even hear back. What the hell?”
Politico of course does some both sides shit about blah blah Joe Biden’s poor approval ratings blah blah blah maybe John Fetterman won’t be up to the task when he comes back onto the trail from beating Oz during STROKE. But on the other hand, the Suffolk poll they mentioned, which showed Joe Biden with a 54 percent disapproval, showed Oz with a 28 percent approval. Also it had Fetterman beating Oz by nine, during STROKE.
So maybe Joe Biden isn’t really the subject of either our article OR yours, Politico.
Even this piece of shit gets it:
“A lot of people in the GOP — both the establishment and local Pennsylvania GOP — underestimate Fetterman,” said Sean Parnell, a former Republican Senate candidate who dropped out of the 2022 race amid a child custody battle in which his estranged wife alleged abuse. “This is a guy that has on the left what Donald Trump has on the right. He’s got a very strong populist appeal that doesn’t just appeal to base Democrats.”
And this piece of shit, whoever they may be:
A Pennsylvania Republican operative who requested anonymity to speak frankly argued that Oz should be on television now: “It’s not complicated. … Drive up Fetterman’s negatives and bolster your positives.”
Is that what really happens when Dr. Oz goes on the TV? We are just asking.
Oz’s campaign manager Casey Contres tells Politico, in essence, that everything is fine, and they got Fetterman right where they want ‘im. That’s not the exact quote, but if you need the exact quote, we’ve been telling you the whole time this article is from the goddamned Politico. Bunch more quotes in there if you want ’em. Fuck it.
In summary and in conclusion, the goddamned Politico. Fuck it.
Goddamned yikes.
During STROKE.
The end.
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