Mike Lindell, he of the pillows and the (former!) cocaine addiction, he has a problem.
The House January 6 Select Committee is looking for what really happened on January 6 and with the 2020 election, and Mike Lindell has that information right here inside this pillowslip, and he’s been offering to give it to the committee, but they won’t take his calls. And Bill Barr won’t take his calls either! Maybe Bill Barr wouldn’t make so much fun of Dinesh D’Souza’s very fine films if he saw the inside of Mike Lindell’s MyPillowSlip!
He was on the Steve Bannon show, obviously, because of how this was journalism, and he explained:
BANNON: Has the Committee, has the Committee reached out to you to go through all the voluminous material you have about the election of 3 November, 2020, sir, yes or no?
“Voluminous material.”
PILLOW: No, they haven’t, and it’s really, and that’s sad too, ’cause I’ve offered, I’d loooooove to come to your little committee as long as you nationally televise it there, Piss Pelosi!
We think he meant to say “Miss Pelosi,” but it came out like “Piss Pelosi.”
Anyway, so Piss Pelosi is scared of letting the MyPillow Guy come on TV and tell America things.
Yep.
BANNON: OK fine, number one, so they’re too gutless to get the information you have.
As we were saying.
Of course, this is one of those moments where you do have to sincerely wonder whether Bannon, and Lindell even, are actually as delusional as they seem, or if this is just part of the grift, knowing that the absolute stupidest people in the country are listening and actually can be grifted into believing the January 6 committee is scared of the information the MyPillow Guy has to share.
BANNON: Has Bill Barr ever reached out to you to ask any questions, given all the high profile that you have about this, about anything that you’ve found regarding election fraud in the last two years, sir?
“High profile.”
“Found.”
These words are working hard.
PILLOW: No, and he’s actually avoided me, Steve. I mean, I’ve put out stuff, you know, tried to get stuff to him in the past and it’s a complete block.
Imagine that, Bill Barr avoiding him. Especially since he hasn’t been the attorney general since about a month after the 2020 election.
Maybe after this is all over the committee can do a funny version of the hearings with a laugh track and the MyPillow Guy can come to that one. Maybe Fox News will even air that one! Oh wait, not even Fox News is into that guy.
It’s all a conspiracy, everybody else is crazy, Mike Lindell is not crazy, YOU ARE CRAZY.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you’re not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?
