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Idiot House Oversight Committee Chair-billy James Comer is so sure it’s impeachment time. He’s got all this evidence of Joe Biden buying Hunter a car and making three payments and then Hunter paid him back, the end. Oh and then one time Joe Biden loaned his brother James some money and James paid him back, because Joe Biden is history’s greatest monster, the end.
And lest we forget, Hunter Biden has been doing evil trickery to James Comer, by saying yes to his request to testify for Congress, but only wanting to do it in public, where Republicans can’t immediately run off to Fox News and OAN and lie about what he said. That does not work for James Comer.
James Comer’s cranial cavity is full of broken store-brand dildos, non-alcoholic moonshine, and hay from the set of “Hee Haw.”
Comer went on Newsmax this weekend, and the idiot host was like hey bro, how can you get people to take your impeachment seriously when you’re going on Jake Tapper’s CNN show and Jake Tapper essentially calls you an idiot? What to do when literally everybody who matters thinks your investigation is “a joke,” as the Newsmax host said? And Comer actually said — on Newsmax — that Tapper is playing to a “low IQ audience.”
That’s it, that’s the joke.
Steve Doocy on “Fox & Friends” is also being a common Jake Tapper about this. Here’s what happened yesterday:
“The Republicans at this point don’t have — they’ve got a lot of ledgers and spreadsheets — but they have not connected the dots,” Doocy said of Joe Biden, adding, “They’ve connected the dots, the Department of Justice did, on Hunter, but they have not shown where Joe Biden, you know, did anything illegally.”
(The Hunter Biden cases are so stupid, and truly if he wasn’t Hunter Biden they wouldn’t exist. And Republicans know it.)
“Now, here’s the other breaking news, and that is the Republicans are threatening contempt of Congress if Hunter does not show up for a closed-door deposition,” he added. “Ultimately, on this show, we’ve been calling for Hunter to go and sit in a chair on Capitol Hill in front of the TV cameras for the last year. Now, Hunter’s lawyer, Abbe Lowell, says he will do that, but Comer and Jim Jordan say, no, it’s not negotiable, he’s got to be in private. According to Hunter Biden’s team, they don’t want to do it because of leaks and stuff like that.”
Ooh, mean. Way to make Jim Jordan and James Comer look like complete fools, by saying accurate words about them.
Doocy has been doing this for a while now, and it is extremely hurtful each and every time.
Wait, did we say hurtful? We meant funny. It is funny each and every time.
And his son, Peter, he’s been hurtful about Jamie Comer and his bad investigation too. Where did he get such an idea that it’s okay to laugh in Jamie Comer’s face? He learned it from watching you, Dad. He learned it from watching you.
Mediaite suggests that we watch their clip and pay particular attention to Brian Kilmeade’s facial expressions while Doocy is being mean about Comer’s investigation. They truly are fucking great. Almost three solid minutes of just gorgeous Kilmeade faces. (One of them is above.) So go do that when you are done here.
The rest of the clownfucking dipshits on the set try to rescue the segment, arguing that what Joe Biden did was “unethical,” even if he didn’t commit a crime. Which thing that Biden did? They do not know, and they know it doesn’t matter, because they are speaking to a low-IQ audience that we 100 percent guarantee will not notice that they didn’t mention anything Joe Biden did.
Those fools are going to try to vote to start a formal impeachment inquiry later this week. (You know, instead of funding Ukraine.)
We’re sure it’ll be as successful as everything else in James Comer’s life.
In other words, good luck, pigfuck!
[Mediaite]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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