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How dumb has shit been for House Republicans this morning? And how fucked is Kevin McCarthy in his quest to become the most limpdicked House speaker in US American history? (VOTES BEGINNING NOW!)
From what we can tell by looking at Twitter, pretty much everybody is just real mad and angry. McCarthy admitted this morning in the private GOP caucus meeting that actually it’s probably more like 20 people voting against him. Also in that meeting, this happened:
CNN REPORTER MELANIE ZANONA TWEET: McCarthy swore in his speech, dropping a “god damnit.” And he made clear he would negotiate no more. McCarthy also said opponents came to him with “personal asks” last night. Lauren boebert yelled in response to speech: “BULL SHIT”
That’s right, swears all around!
Meanwhile Matt Gaetz is telling Kevin McCarthy that actually he doesn’t care if Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries becomes speaker. McCarthy supporter/establishment Republican/elder statesman Marjorie Taylor Greene is going off on EVERYONE and accusing Gaetz and Boebert and the rest of the clown caucus of being “destructionists” who don’t even care about America. Dan Crenshaw is calling Gaetz ‘n’ pals “enemies now.”
And while speaking to the press and whining that he and his pals have been threatened with losing their committee assignments if they don’t support McCarthy, Gaetz dropped a hilarious and true quote about how Republicans’ centuries-long show trial Benghazi investigations were pretty obvious bullshit.
GAETZ: Our position is that if Kevin McCarthy is the speaker of the House, and we don’t have an ability to ensure that there is oomph behind the agenda, and energy behind our oversight, that the committee assignments don’t mean that much anyway. I’m not here to participate in some puppet show where we pass a bunch of messaging bills, send them to the Senate, watch them die, fail to use leverage, and don’t hold the Biden administration accountable.I don’t want to relive the Benghazi experience where it’s just theater pretending to be oversight.
Hahahahahaha, you hear that, Trey Gowdy and Mike Pompeo and all you other dumbfucks who were on that committee and wasted all America’s time and money for one million years and also 11 FREAKING HOURS on one day in 2015?
Matt Gaetz is dying on this hill because he doesn’t want the new Congress’s endless investigations into the length, circumference and general perkiness of Hunter Biden’s penis shaft to be like the Benghazi investigations, mere theater pretending to be oversight. He wants them to MEAN SOMETHING.
And that is why he is saying these terribly offensive Benghazi Libels.
Gaetz also said the following words, which are goddamn amazing.
“If you want to drain the swamp, you cannot put the biggest alligator in charge of the exercise,” he said. “I’m a Florida man and I know of what I speak,” he said.
In that same video, Gaetz said of McCarthy that “time and again, his viewpoints, his positions, they shift like sands underneath you,” and said the only thing Gaetz and his pals have gotten from McCarthy when they’ve asked for his “battle plan” for the new Congress is “a handful of howdy and a mouthful of Much Obliged.” So that’s a whole folksy expression right there!
So cool day in Congress, basically.
In summary and in conclusion, here’s GOP Rep.-elect George Santos trying to find his way around the Capitol in peace while journalists ask him a bunch of rude questions about why he’s such a liar and if he thinks he’ll even get to serve his full term.
Reportedly he wouldn’t go in his office earlier this morning because it was a bunch of press in there too.
Really cowardly behavior, we think, especially coming from the guy Republicans are probably going to elect speaker sometime next year on their 957,670th ballot.
The festivities have begun and the fail-votes for speaker have begun. How long will this go? Fuck knows.
RED WAVE!
WATCH IT LIVE!
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And once that doesn’t exist, I’m also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post!
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