Since the beginning of time, man has sought to answer the question “How galactically enormous an asshole must you be to get kicked out of the House Freedom Caucus, for Christ’s sake??”
And now we have the answer: Marjorie Taylor Greene. You must be a Marjorie Taylor Greene-level asshole to get the boot from a caucus whose entire existence is predicated on giving galactically enormous assholes a place to feel less lonely.
As Fred Willard might have said, “Wha’ happen?”
You may recall the incident a couple of weeks ago when Greene and fellow diseased kidney valve Lauren Boebert got into an argument on the floor of the House over which of them would get to impeach Joe Biden first and earn all the golden mushrooms or whatever like some sort of wingnut Mario brother. The confrontation, captured in all its visual but unfortunately not auditory glory by a CSPAN camera, reportedly peaked when Greene accused Boebert of being “a little bitch to me.”
Well who knew the House Freedom Caucus has a civility clause, at least when addressing anyone to the political right of George Lincoln Rockwell:
“She is no longer with HFC,” a Republican lawmaker told The Daily Beast, noting that “disparaging” fellow members is frowned upon.
Yeah, well what about jumping the Biden impeachment line and earning an interview with Steve Bannon, huh? Is that not also an unacceptable transgression against the good character of a fellow HFC member?
The Daily Beast also reports that this incident was simply the last in a long line of straws built atop a very dumb and bigoted camel. What straws? It would be irresponsible not to speculate!
Was it the time Greene accused antifa and trans people of conspiring to shoot schoolchildren? Is it the time she told a hearing witness that as a lesbian stepmom, how dare she refer to herself as a parent? The time she threatened to shut down Pornhub, thus enraging perverts and her fellow GOP House members? (But we repeat ourselves.)
Okay, that last one definitely loomed large. It’s a House bylaw that depriving James Comer of pleasuring himself to amateur girl-on-girl scissoring videos is a big no-no.
Also, jeez has Greene done a lot of dumb crap.
Greene had been trending towards trouble with the rest of the GOP caucus for a while, as the normie House Republicans (we’re aware we are stretching the definition of “normie” like Plastic Man here) have been slapping her down for some of her antics. But to have finally hit “even the Freedom Caucus has had enough of you” levels is without question the greatest achievement of her brief congressional career.
Ironically, the one House Freedom Caucus member who seems to have disagreed with her fellow nuts on this move is Boebert, who supposedly defended Greene on “freedom of speech grounds.” Which of course is not how freedom of speech works, but Lauren Boebert also lacks the intellectual candlepower of wet cardboard. And Boebert still wouldn’t say whether she voted to give Greene the boot or not, saying that “The comments Marjorie and I shared with one another had absolutely no influence on my vote.”
In other words, Boebert’s final straw had come along much earlier. Which let her take what passes for the high ground on free speech while also ridding the Freedom Caucus of her rival.
Boebert is still dumb, but she has the survival instincts of a ferret.
For her part, Marjorie Taylor Greene will have you know that she is not deterred in her fight to make sure every American knows that the Jews are using space lasers to make your children use the wrong bathroom or whatever:
“In Congress, I serve Northwest Georgia first, and serve no group in Washington,” Greene said.
“I will work with ANYONE who wants to secure our border, protect our children inside the womb and after they are born, end the forever foreign wars, and do the work to save this country,” she continued. “The GOP has less than two years to show America what a strong, unified Republican-led congress will do when President Trump wins the White House in 2024. This is my focus, nothing else.”
That’s a lot of words to say she’s totally not mad that she now has literally no one to hang out with at recess.
