Well we guess Lauren Boebert, the Republican congressman from Colorado, heard people were calling other congressmen idiots and decided to reclaim her title.
The scene was one of those hearings where Congress, the House Oversight Committee in particular, tells DC what to do, since under our lovely arrangement for the nation’s capital, morons like Lauren Boebert get to badger DC about its personal affairs. And she just REALLY NEEDED this guy on the DC City Council to tell her if it was legal to pee in public.
Did Mr. Charles Allen lead the charge to reform DC’s crime laws? Yes he did lead that committee. And are those new reforms now law? No they aren’t, said Mr. Allen. “Those are not the law?” said Lauren Boebert. Congress rejected that criminal code.
“Mr. Allen! Did you or did you not decriminalize public urination?” No he did not. “Did you lead the charge to do so?” No he did not. “Did you lead the charge to decriminalize public urination in Washington DC?” she asked again. “No ma’am,” he said again. “Did you ever vote in favor of decriminalizing public urination in Washington DC?” Still no. “Did YOU EVER support … ” Still no.
Mr. Allen said it was a criminal offense to pee in public. “And you support this?” Boebert asked, about the public pee being criminal. “I voted for it, yeah.”
“You VOTED TO KEEP IT as a criminal offense?”
“That’s correct,” said Mr. Allen.
Lauren Boebert said she had records that said Mr. Allen loved public pee. Mr. Allen said naw that ain’t it.
Is Mr. Allen going to decriminalize pee in the future? Is he going to decriminalize pee the second he leaves here today? Still no.
“WHAT DID YOU PEE AND WHEN DID YOU PEE IT?” asked Boebert.
OK, she didn’t ask that one. Next time she should.
Having done her participating in Congress, Boebert said “thank you, I yield,” and yielded.
A bit later, Democratic Rep. Becca Balint commented on how Republicans were bothering everybody asking about pee, and asked Mr. Allen if he had more things to say about pee. He didn’t, but Lauren Boebert yelled “I do!” because we guess she wasn’t finished doing the Socratic method to Mr. Allen about pee. In response, all of Congress laughed at her, or at least it sounds like it on the video.
At Rolling Stone,Nikki McCann Ramirez reminds us of a thing about Lauren Boebert and the subject of having one’s wangus out:
Boebert has personal experience with crime related to indecent exposure. In 2004, her husband, Jason Boebert, pleaded guilty and served jail time after exposing himself to two women at a bowling alley, one of whom was underage.
Classy classy.
We guess Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene heard people calling Boebert an idiot and felt the need to reclaim HER title back, because in Congress yesterday she also bellyached about that time she was in high school and Joe Biden took all the guns out of the schools, and immediately there was a lockdown at HER school. This video helps Greene out with some of the facts she seems confused about, like how Joe Biden hasn’t been president for 33 years, and when the thing at her school happened, the law in question hadn’t even been proposed yet.
But other than that, flawless victory, Marge! And Lauren Boebert!
Participation trophies for everyone!
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