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This morning in Washington DC, both President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris participated in the National Prayer Breakfast, a weird annual ritual that until approximately five minutes ago was put on by a severely creepy and secretive rightwing Christian organization called The Family, but is now officially run by Congress. (The break might not be as complete as they’d like you to believe.) Author and researcher Jeff Sharlet exposed the group in the seminal work on the subject, The Family, which subsequently became a Netflix series.
Regardless of who officially runs it, we long to live in a world where respectable Democratic politicians don’t feel the need to participate in that garbage.
But yesterday, there was a whole different rightwing Jesus prayer hootenanny in DC at the Bible Museum, and Republican congressmen were ALL over it. Right Wing Watch explains that it was the National Gathering for Prayer and Repentance, and it was sponsored by all the hottest hate groups in America. The American Family Association, Alliance Defending Freedom, Family Research Council, just everybody who wants to eradicate LGBTQ+ people and women’s rights and all the other things that make this country good and pure and holy.
Oh boy, it was a thing! Kevin McCarthy went there and begged Jesus to vote for him 14 times and Jesus was like “LOL” and then Kevin McCarthy promised Jesus a place on the Intel Committee and Jesus caved on the 15th vote.
Nah, just kidding, but if you want to see Kevin McCarthy pandering to God for two minutes, you got it:
So what else happened in this specifically rightwing Christian event that McCarthy specifically lent his imprimatur to?
Well there was this fuckin’ idiot GOP Rep. Randy Weber, who boo-hooed to Jesus about how gays are gross and abortion is bad. Literally he cried his way through this prayer. Sobbed. Watch it, you will laugh.
Thanks to JoeMyGod, we have transcript:
“Father, we think we’re so smart. We’ve kick you out of schools. We’ve kicked prayer out, we’ve kicked the Ten Commandments. And we’ve replaced them with drug-sniffing dogs and armed police officers and metal detectors.
“Lord, forgive us. Father, we’ve trampled on holy matrimony. Lord God, we’ve killed so many babies and we call them a choice.
“I remember Deuteronomy 30:19, Moses called Israel to choose life so that we and all our descendants could live. Lord, our descendants aren’t living.
“We’re killing them in the womb.”
And then he cried about the national debt, to Jesus.
“Father, you also say in your word that the borrower is a slave to the lender. We have totally forgotten your word and your precepts and we are $33 trillion in debt.
“Father we think we’re so smart, but please lord, forgive us.”
And Jesus replied, “IDK, my child, have thee tried Credit Karma?”
Republican Rep. Mary Miller also prayed. She’s the one who quoted Hitler’s fine understanding of the importance of the youth vote, and whose husband parked his penis-substitute three-percenter truck at the Capitol riots on January 6. Her prayer wasn’t very good, skip it.
Republican Rep. Diana Harshbarger’s prayer was pretty weird. She cried like a common Randy Weber, as she explained to God that God was a God “who will not tolerate unholiness!” She instructed God to “Remove those people who are ungodly from places of authority, Lord. Put them OUUUUTT to pasture!”
And the Lord said MOOOOOOO. Just kidding, our Lord is not a cow!
So that was neat. Right Wing Watch reports that other members of Congress who talked at the event included Reps. Steve Scalise, Rick Allen, Brian Babin, Michael Cloud, Robert Aderholt, Tracey Mann, Burgess Owens, Gary Palmer, Michelle Steel, Warren Davidson, Brandon Williams, Dan Bishop, Nathaniel Moran, and Mike Johnson.
(If you have free time and want to cross-reference how many of these godly crying messes are also January 6 seditionists, here’s a reference link.)
There were other guests, of course. Remember that American pastor Donald Trump sometimes pretended he cared about getting Turkey to release, the one Rudy Giuliani lobbied to have prisoner-swapped? He finally was released in 2018, and Trump acted like he Art of the Dealed it.
You’ll be really glad that guy is back when you hear his talk about how America is the “primary corrupter of the world” and “our government and corporations increasingly march under the rainbow flag” and “we bully weaker and poorer countries to come under that flag.” You betcha. It was all about how America should repent for telling the world LGBTQ+ people are OK.
There were these so-called “ex-gay” activists, who cried and boo-hooed to Jesus to apologize for the American government’s gayness and transgenderism. The man “ex-gay” asked Jesus to heal America from the “homosexuality, lesbianism, bisexuality and sex confusion.” The woman “ex-gay” apologized for her own personal “sin of female homosexuality and all aspects of my lesbian thinking and behavior.” She renounced her “rejection of and disdain for God-given feminine gender and attributes,” and also her “disdain for men and their God-given gender attributes.”
So that was interesting.
Right Wing Watch says Kevin McCarthy did his little song and dance right after that.
The Christian fascists are feeling emboldened, y’all. And the speaker of the House takes their phone calls.
Protect everyone you love.
[JoeMyGod]
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