It would appear that Donald Trump, the dementia-addled senior citizen man baby America’s most profoundly stupid voters decided to give another shot at the presidency, will be having TWO inaugurations. The real one on January 20, where he raises his little hand and lies his oath of office, and a fun one the day before, at the Capital One Arena in DC, with just his closest MAGA supporters. CBS News notes that this is where the Washington Wizards play, and it holds about 20,000 people.
We’ll see.
So yes, he’s having another fucking Stupid Hitler rally. At the end of his campaign, he was like oh no this is my last rally. But now they aren’t his last rally, because he’s having a rally on January 19.
It is called the Make America Great Again Victory Rally, and you can request tickets right here, but you shouldn’t do that, because you are not actually going to attend, and that would be unfair to any snorting MAGA pig people who would like to go if they couldn’t get a seat!
Anybody think maybe the writing the Trump campaign has seen on the wall so far suggests that not an entire shit-ton of people is planning to show up to see that dumbass get inaugurated, so they’re trying to goose people into making the trip, instead of doing literally anything else?
So whatever is happening here, it is about the baby’s ego.
Maybe it’s what we said, and it’s that nobody’s coming to DC for this goddamned thing, so they’re trying to throw a second party to entice people who are already bored by the original party.
Maybe they are going to combine the Sunday numbers with the Monday numbers so they can tell Trump he had the BIGGEST HUGEST INAUGURATION IN HUMAN HISTORY, bigger than Barack Obama even, so big it lasted two days, and Trump’s latest Kayleigh McHuckabee Spicynanny can hurl themselves over the rostrum yelling at any reporters who dare say different.
Maybe they can take The Bulwark’s Jonathan Last up on his hilarious suggestion that the Sunday event should double as a job fair where funnel cake-eating MAGA illiterates can show those DOGE tech nerds what they’re missin’.
We wouldn’t know, and we shan’t find out, because as you might not have realized yet, Donald Trump’s inauguration falls on a day that’s much more important than he is, namely the observation of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. That’s right, not only will the flags be at half-staff in DC to honor Jimmy Carter upon his death, it’s also MLK day. Truly, Trump is, at best, the third most important thing happening that day. Maybe the fourth or fifth, if we can find a good episode of “Dateline” or “The Price Is Right” to watch, or maybe if there is a Pokemon Go! event of some kind.
We should note, of course, that as MLK day is a federal holiday, and Wonkette will be observing it the same way everybody else is, and therefore there will be no inauguration coverage for that loser bullshit nobody will be watching.
If something important happens there, like if Trump orders another January 6 out of sheer habit, we will (perhaps) discuss it on Tuesday.
(Perhaps.) Now half of us have the day off and those of us who are here are all tired, so we’re calling an EARLY LID.
OPEN THREAD.
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