How Much Weird Kremlin Propaganda Can You Get On The TV Now That Tucker’s Gone?

We don’t know the exact answer to the question in our headline, but it’s been a weird couple of days. It’s the usual suspects, of course. Nobody Vladimir Putin would be surprised to see tugging on his pants leg and begging for a Snausage.

Ron Johnson, the man we used to call the Senate’s Dumbest Republican until we simply had to give that title over to Tommy Tuberville, went on “Fox & Friends” yesterday, and — well, we didn’t call him the dumbest for no reason, y’all. He said he went to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s inauguration, and at that time he thought Zelenskyy really wanted peace with Putin. He just doesn’t know what happened “in the intervening period” to make Zelenskyy so anti-peace. He did allow that Putin had invaded, but still, why does Zelenskyy hate peace so much?

Journalist Mark Jacob suggests, “A full-blown Russian invasion of Ukraine, the rape and massacre of citizens, the kidnapping of children.” But Ron Johnson is just not sure, we guess.

Toward the end of the clip, Brian Kilmeade, the emptiest windsock on “Fox & Friends,” suggested ending the war by “give ’em 20 percent of Ukraine and say OK you can keep it.” He seemed to be looking for Johnson’s approval of his very good idea, but Johnson would not nail down specifics.

Likewise, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was on Fox News last night, and he just couldn’t stop slobbering on Putin’s underwear. He bragged that Putin “twice agreed to sign the treaties that would have given us essentially everything. The only thing Putin wanted in both these treaties — in the MInsk Accords and the April ’22 treaty — was that Donbas got to stay part of Ukraine, that it would be able to protect its ethnic Russian populations from violence by the government, the US-installed government; that NATO stay out of Ukraine; and that they de-Nazify, you know, the government.”

You know, just those things.

For the record, the only people who claim there was a real peace deal in spring of 2022 are Russian media and their associated mouthpieces. Minsk Accords sorta went out the window when Putin, you know, invaded.

The rest of it is just the kind of babbling malarkey that comes out of Putin’s wet dreams. Pretending Donbas needs to be protected from “the US-installed government” in Ukraine, that the government needs to be “de-Nazified,” that Putin should have one iota of a say in whether NATO admits Ukraine.

Piers Morgan had to step in and be the voice of reason, explaining to the absolute fucking lunatic that “the Russians have not acted in good faith at all,” and that Russia had invaded a sovereign nation. He explained, re: de-Nazification, that Zelenskyy is Jewish and not a Nazi. In response, Kennedy bitched that Zelenskyy ran in 2019 on a “peace platform.” Where’s all that peace now? Kennedy claimed it was Zelenskyy who “suddenly pivoted” away from peace. (Like when Russia invaded and started raping and murdering and kidnapping Ukraine’s kids, maybe?)

It’s nice to have three examples when you make blog posts like this, so here is freakshow Matt Gaetz on Newsmax suggesting that instead of adding Ukraine to NATO, we add Russia.

“Why would you pick Ukraine? Why not extend NATO to Russia and make it an anti-China alliance?

Because that’s not what NATO fucking is.

“Like, are we really thinking that we’re more afraid of the broke-down tanks from Russia than the fact that China is building a secret military base on the island of Cuba, 90 miles away from the United States?”

Wank wank wank.

“Like, if we had to pick Russia or Ukraine for NATO, one could reasonably make the argument that Russia probably provides more benefit long-term.”

If they lived inside Putin’s ass.

“And I think one can reasonably ask the question: Has NATO expansion made us safer? I mean, has it really?”

And one would reasonably answer that it has. Really.

“Are we safer today than we were before NATO expanded into the Baltics and put us now on the brink of war? That’s not exactly what we signed up for with Sleepy Joe as the President of the United States.”

Interesting how Gaetz says “NATO” put us on the brink of war by expanding into the Baltics. Because defending oneself from Putin is just one big “Look what you made me do” for Putin himself. Because you can’t possibly blame Putin for any actions Putin takes.

We guess all kinds of words make sense when you’re drinking out of that guy’s toilet.

Good job, guys. Mother Russia thanks you for your service, as usual.

[h/t JoeMyGod]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.

BlueSky!

@evanjosephhurst on Threads!

I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.

Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.