Wonkette explained prettttty much all you need to know in advance of Donald Trump’s scheduled execution this evening in Georgia. Arrest! Not execution! We always mess that up!
You know, unless something Prigozhin happens to him along the way, right, Tucker?
And we explained all the hilarious trials and tribulations of Mark Meadows and Jeffrey Clark trying to get out of surrendering by emergency removing their cases to federal court, and a judge promptly issuing an order that said “Eat hole.” Meadows was expected to surrender Friday. Apparently he got there early, as you can see above. His bond is $100,000.
Clark’s bond is also $100,000 but we haven’t seen a mugshot for him. We hope he wears the same outfit he was wearing in his driveway the day the FBI searched his house. (Big underpants.)
The Daily Beast reports that Floyd Harrison, the defendant who is the head of Black Voices for Trump, also surrendered today. He didn’t get the issue of bond settled. So he’s in jail. Womp womp.
As for Trump, well …
That fake tweet says:
231,000,000 Views, and still counting. The Biggest Video on Social Media, EVER, more than double the Super Bowl! But please excuse me, I have to start getting ready to head down to Atlanta, Georgia, where Murder and other Violent Crimes have reached levels never seen before, to get ARRESTED by a Radical Left, Lowlife District Attorney, Fani Willis, for A PERFECT PHONE CALL, and having the audacity to challenge a RIGGED & STOLEN ELECTION. THE EVIDENCE IS IRREFUTABLE! ARREST TIME: 7:30 P.M.
Bless his heart, he thinks that because people have been forced without their consent to scroll by his Tucker video on Twitter 231,000,000 times — what counts as a “view” on Elon’s short little white guy Twitter, for white guys who are scared they don’t measure up — that means 231,000,000 people have actually watched it. As in, two-thirds of the US population.
Sure thing, buddy.
Just like Tucker wanted us to believe his first two infomercials on Twitter got 169,000,000 “views.”
And Matt Walsh wants us to believe his “What Is A Woman And Why Do They Cross The Street When They See Me” movie has been viewed over 180,000,000 times.
What do all these guys have in common?
By the way, right now you can buy mugshot glasses with Donald Trump’s mugshot on them from the Wonkette store, before we even have a mugshot because we guess we just borrowed Obama’s time machine, so you can all remember where you were when Donald Trump was mugshotted right in the face. You were buying shotglasses! You can get him and his band of assholes right here!
Until then, Schadenfreude and auf Wiedersehen!
Also OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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