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Happy Weekend!
Today is the 21st day of September, which means that tonight … tonight is the 21st night of September. When love will change the minds of pretenders and we will all chase the clouds away!
It’s also National Mini Golf Day, if that’s more what you’re into.
Oh. And it is a LOT of people’s birthday. Like, I look these things up all the time and a truly unusual number of celebs were born on the 21st night (or day, I GUESS) of September. Leonard Cohen, Fannie Flagg, Stephen King, Bill Murray, Ethan Coen, Dave Coulier, Nancy Travis, Faith Hill, Ricki Lake, Billy Porter, Alfonso Ribeiro, Luke Wilson, Liam Gallagher, Nicole Richie, and … so, so awkwardly ….
Cheryl Hines. Not gonna be a great birthday for Cheryl Hines this year.
There’s gonna be some awkward conversations, probably.
I am going to refrain from making any jokes about respecting wood, because of how I am too classy.
Anyway! I’ve got some presents for you! Starting with this bizarre Panasonic Boombox commercial starring … Earth, Wind And Fire!
And here is Ricki Lake talking about teen gun violence with two blonde white girls named “S-Dog and T-Bird,” who are wearing matching red bandanas and Ray-ban Wayfarers and are definitely in a real gang.
Unrelated to anything else … I have found two truly great 1-900 numbers for you to call!
First, this one, where you get the personal phone numbers of random beautiful people.
And in case any of those beautiful people curse you for blowing up their phones …
What? It could happen. Curses are real.
Have you been struck with a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, we are on Substack now so you can just go ahead and click subscribe! Click click click!!
Or if you’d just like to donate just once …
You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link. Or we’re now partnered with Martie, where you can buy snacks!
You can even send us paper checks to:
Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238
Talk amongst yourselves!
