Today is Christmas Eve! For reasons I don’t 100 percent understand, this is a much bigger day for Italians than Actual Christmas Day, what with the Feast of Seven Fishes and letting Dad pretend we’ll all definitely go to midnight mass this year, right up until he falls asleep at 11pm.
Also for reasons I don’t 100 percent understand, my people are very, very big on novelty songs in general and Christmas novelty songs in particular. So you get an extra present these year in the form of people doing TikTok dances to the classic Lou Monte jam, “Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey.”
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I am also very into this tap dance situation, although I’m never going to complain about my dance recital outfits again.
And always remember — don’t bring sprinkle cookies. Bring pignoli cookies.
We only have 191 subscriptions left to go to get to our year-end goal of 5,000! And yes, this includes those of you who subscribe in other ways, as you are all imported into our spreadsheet thingie on here!
At the fabulous suggestion of commenter Chicken ate my Ballot — to entice you further if we make this goal, we will replace every picture of every terrible person with pictures of cats for a whole week!
And, thanks to commenter Birb-General of the US, I now know that you can also give gift subscriptions to Wonkette — either to someone you love … or to someone you you don’t.
Or if you’d just like to donate just once …
You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link.
You can even send us paper checks to:
Wonkette
PO Box 38273
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OPEN THREAD!