Oh boy, another idiot has fled to Russia!
Wilmer Puello-Mota, 28, former City Council member of Holyoke, Massachusetts, was wanted in Rhode Island on charges of child pornography, forgery, obstruction, and counterfeiting. He was due in court last January and facing a minimum of five years, but nobody tells Wilmer what to do! He channeled his inner Steven Seagal, hopped a plane from Dulles to Istanbul, and has now resurfaced on Telegram channels and state media in Russia, hoisting an American flag over Ukrainian rubble and signing up for military duty. Reported the Russian-fawning site RGRU:
An American with the call sign Wil came to the special operation as a volunteer and fought shoulder to shoulder with soldiers of the Russian army near Avdeevka [in Ukraine]. He fought against the Ukronazis as part of the legendary international brigade 1 and calls the special operation a liberation struggle. […] After the capture of Avdiivka, the American hoisted his American flag over the city next to the Russian one as a sign of solidarity.
Vil calls Khanty-Mansiysk a wonderful city and a wonderful place to conclude a contract.
“From the very beginning of my stay here I was provided with an excellent translator, and the work in the contract selection office was excellent.”
Guess signing up for the army is a way to get out of that pesky language requirement, so pay attention, Feenstras!
Wilmer shows up with a blurred face as Вил (which Google Translate alternately calls Wil, Vil, and Veale) but everybody in Holyoke saw him and was like, your voice is the same and we know it’s you, Dumbass of the Donbas. He also popped up on Facebook, with a picture of himself in army gear, piloting a drone. Good he’s not in our military any more, at least?
The case against him in Rhode Island has now been indefinitely delayed until he ever gets back, though if he does he’ll be in an even bigger heap of trouble.
Russian blogger Yuri Kotenok has claimed that Puello-Mota was paid “745,000 rubles immediately [about $8,000 USD] and 150,000 every two months [$1600 USD]” for joining the Russian military, and he’s going to need it.
Things had seemed on the sunny upswing for Puello-Mota at first. He served as a technical sergeant in the Air National Guard in Massachusetts, and was elected to the City Council of lefty Holyoke, Mass. But everything quickly went to shit for him in September of 2020 when he had the bright idea to call the police from a hotel room to report his handgun had been stolen. When they arrived, Puello-Mota helpfully complained to them that the girl he’d met on the Internet and promised to pay $1,000 for some kind of reason had let a group of men into his hotel room. And those rude men stole his wallet, keys, $1,000, and a safe with a 9 mm Beretta handgun and two 10-round magazines, can you even believe it?! Police sussed out that the girl was actually 17, found his Venmo payments and nude photos and videos of her in a trash folder on his phone, and immediately arrested him and charged him with possession of child pornography. Efficient!
Next, Puello-Mota submitted a forged document to the court that he pretended was from a supervisor in the Air National Guard, claiming that he would be deployed if the case had a positive outcome. Then he turned around to the National Guard and told his supervisor there that the charges were bogus and actually he was involved in a research program about how service members progress through the criminal justice system. Plausible!
AND THEN, in November 2022, prosecutors say he violated bail conditions by attending a Halloween party in Holyoke with juveniles. Sharp as a cue ball, this one.
But that’s not all! Wilmer was kicked out of the Air Guard, and the City Council tried to boot him off on account of his being in jail for three months and missing too many meetings. But he sued them for reinstatement, and won, because he’s a winner!
More good news for him, Putin has sped up the path to citizenship for foreigners who enlist (pay no attention to the 100k-something casualties) so he will probably get to stay permanently, one way or another.
Well, can’t wait to see how this one turns out! Hear that, perverts and scofflaws? Hop a plane and go be a media darling in Russia!
Venmo us to receive photos of cats! (No photos of cats. Also not Venmo. You could Venmo us though if you wanted to, you know Rebecca’s email it is rebecca at wonkette dot com.)
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