Dan Bongino Pretty Sure Mass Shooters Just Need A Good Rough-Housin’ With Daddy

Intelligent Trump-loving brain genius Dan Bongino has been thinking again, so stand back, everybody. He’s been using his noodle, and he’s figured out what would stop all the murders and the violence and the mass shootings. You thought Glenn Beck had solved it? No that was yesterday’s post, this is today’s post. Now Dan Bongino has solved it.

YESTERDAY’S POST: Glenn Beck Knows Why

Follow Dan Bongino’s noodle as he uses it, as he just swangs that thang around. Media Matters lovingly provides the transcript and the video and saves us work, as usual:

DAN BONGINO: The left has played a role in the culture rot. You’re going to say that? Yes, yes I am.

Yes, yes, verily and forsooth.

BINGBONG: The constant war on religion, church communities where … growing up people did things through the church. The church was the centerpiece of the community. There were student groups, there was after hours things. There was donuts and coffee after church. We still do it in my neighborhood.

Donuts. Coffee.

BINGBONG: They don’t do that anymore, every kid wants to go home and get on Twitter or sit in the basement watching some anime or something.

All church activities canceled. No donuts. No coffee. Only Twitter. And basement. And anime.

BINGBONG: The left did that, that was the left’s idea to dismantle and attack the church.

The left did that. The church is dismantled. There is no longer church.

(Which is funny, if you read Tim Alberta this month about how the evangelical church is just cannibalizing itself right now. The culprit? Trump-fellating morons replacing actual religious faith with conspiracy-theory addicted hatemongering dumbfuck idiocy.)

BINGALINGALING: It was the left’s idea to detach children from the father.

The Left came up with that idea, they said “No children with fathers, it is against the rules. Whose rules? Left’s rules.”

BISQUICK: You know I read an observational study one time, I’m always fascinated by psychology — I read an observational study

Shit. He’s been reading.

BONGINO: … one time about how children need their fathers around because — obviously you need your father around — because men and women love their kids different. Not better, not worse. But a mom and a father love differently. And one of the things about fathers that was in this observational study was that they roughhouse.

Here we go. He’s moving along toward his grand theory of how to stop all the badness. Mommies love in certain ways. Daddies love in other ways. Daddies roughhouse. Daddies ‘RASSLE.

And this is what stops mass shootings because …

BONGINO: But fathers roughhouse with boys and girls, and it teaches the boys and the girls at a young age with the dad, who they know loves them, they know it, that physicality doesn’t always mean violence. It was a profound — it really changed a lot for me.

Daddy roughhouses with the boys and Daddy roughhouses with the girls, but it’s OK and everybody is LOL about it, because Daddy is just being silly, and reading this science study changed a lot for Dan Bongino, because please keep reading he’s not finished yet.

DAN: And yet you’ve got this — not Democrat war, I’m not gonna go there.

Wouldn’t want him to go there.

BINGO: But this radical leftist war on the family and church which are a bedrock of values and teaching kids how to socialize into a human community properly and you attacked it and ripped it to pieces and you wonder why we’ve got a generation of young boys who don’t understand the penalties of excess physicality to the point of murder? You’ve got an entire generation of young men and women growing up without dads.

OK. Let us get this straight and make sure DanGino up here isn’t operating on some superhuman intellectual level and we’re missing his revelations entirely.

Both boys and girls need Daddy to roughhouse with them so they know there’s a difference between rasslin’, which is Daddy bein’ silly, and murder, which is not a very silly Daddy thing to do. Kids that don’t have a Daddy do not learn this lesson, and instead run around accidentally murdering everybody by accident because they were only trying to roughhouse them, after all.

With semiautomatic weapons.

Also this outcome does not seem to apply to girls who don’t get to ‘rassle with Daddy, since women are just about never mass shooters. But it’s definitely that way for the boys.

Is that the theory?

It is truly a wonder the lengths these fucking morons will go to avoid saying IT’S GUNS and ALSO OFTEN IT’S RIGHTWING WHITE SUPREMACIST EXTREMISM, PLUS GUNS.

Fuck.

[Media Matters]

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