Boebert And Greene Enter The Octagon, Yell At Each Other, Leave

Aw, yr Wonkette hates it when our evil stepmoms fight.

We’re speaking of Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, who on Wednesday got into some sort of back-and-forth on the floor of the House that resulted in Greene calling Boebert a “little bitch” and then uninviting her from the neighborhood potluck. “She puts raisins in her disgusting potato salad anyway,” Greene was heard to mutter as she left the chamber.

Okay, we made up that second part. We have no idea what Lauren Boebert puts in her potato salad, and we assume any neighborhood potluck involving those two would involve less cooking and more cross burning.

But the first part is apparently true. You can watch the moment it happened here, though mercifully you cannot actually hear those two high-pitched, nasally voices screeching at each other.

“GLOW” it ain’t.

The subject of the fight is reportedly which one of them gets to impeach Joe Biden first. No, seriously.

About a month ago, Greene introduced articles of impeachment against Biden, accusing the president of compromising national security by not securing the southern border, leading to an influx of fentanyl and undocumented immigrants and who knows, phony Botox treatments and bootleg CrossFit DVDs, probably.

This week Boebert introduced her own articles of impeachment against Biden, also for failing to secure the border. The difference is that Boebert used a little parliamentary maneuvering by introducing her articles as a privileged resolution. This requires the articles to be rapidly brought to the floor and voted on, possibly as soon as the next few days.

This made Greene super-mad, because in her world the only currency is right-wing media coverage, and here Boebert was leapfrogging her and probably scoring all the good Newsmax invites to boot.

The Daily Beasthas a bit more detail:

According to two of the sources, Greene then stood up and alleged that Boebert “copied my articles of impeachment,” to which the Colorado lawmaker fired back that she hadn’t even read Greene’s resolution.

“I’ve donated to you, I’ve defended you. But you’ve been nothing but a little bitch to me,” Greene told Boebert, according to a source who witnessed the exchange. “And you copied my articles of impeachment after I asked you to cosponsor them.”

Greene also pointed out that she has been on the impeachment train for awhile, having introduced articles of impeachment against Biden the day after his inauguration in 2021. Which makes Boebert a little poseur who just moved into the neighborhood and now all the husbands are checking her out on her morning runs and also she thinks she’s running the book club even after Marjorie slogged her way through a Barbara Taylor Bradford novel so she could lead the discussion.

These aren’t even the only articles of impeachment against Biden filed in the 118th Congress. There are five by our count, but you don’t see Chip Roy or Andrew Ogles being so undignified as to call each other “bitch” on the House floor.

It’s all moot as far as an actual impeachment is concerned. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy is opposed to just willy-nilly launching a presidential impeachment because McCarthy, while not having the cerebral power of a rutabaga, at least understands the gravity of taking this step the way a mongoose understands it should stay out of an open field when hawks are circling overhead.

Boebert and Greene, on the other hand, are fighting for attention and media hits from MAGA world. The gravity of impeaching a president takes second place in that race.

We hope Greene and Boebert fight forever, because they both suck and it’s damned hilarious.

[Daily Beast]

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.