We are beginning to suspect that Herschel Walker, the Republican Senate nominee from Texas Georgia may be slightly unprepared for prime time. Whodathunk that a guy who announced his candidacy as he revved his car engine inside the garage of his Georgia Texas home might be a couple pecans short of a full pie!
Georgia Public Broadcasting reporter Stephen Fowler flagged the footage from a Hall County GOP meeting in a park where WABE reporter Rahul Bali was nonetheless blocked from observing Walker work his magic on the crowd. Almost like the candidates handlers know their guy is nucking futs! But then those goobers from the local party posted it on Facebook anyway. Doh!
We need energy for everything. We all know that? And they were talking about the Green New Deal. You know, climate change. Imma help you all with that real quickly.
Imagine being his press aide and hearing that …
We, in America, have some of the cleanest air and cleanest water of anybody in the world.
Okay, with you so far, fella.
So what we’re gonna do with the Green New Deal is we’re going to put millions and billions of dollars cleaning our good air up. So all of a sudden China and India ain’t putting nothing into cleaning that situation up. So all that bad air is still there.
Fact check: Nope.
But because we don’t control the air, our good air decides to float over to China’s bad air. So when China gets our good air, that bad air gotta move. So it moves over to our good air space.
Well, that explains it. Guess we should just turn the earth into an uninhabitable fireball, hurtling through space. Take that, China! And speaking of China …
They’re not telling you that this virus was created by China. But you know the whole world is not even talking about it. Because it seems like everybody wants to play footsie with China.
You know, with most candidates we would say something snarky about the deliberate use of rhetoric to distract from the reality that Americans are addicted to buying cheap crap produced somewhere else. We might point out that US Americans pitched a fucking fit the second a global pandemic gummed up the supply chains and cut us off from our fix of $7 T-shirts, not to mention socks for less than a dollar a pair to put on our “footsies.” But with this guy, we will make an exception, because we are pretty sure he ain’t that deep.
This is a person who lies so readily about everything, from the number of children he’s fathered to being high school valedictorian, that you almost believe it along with him. Well, you don’t believe that it’s literally true, of course. But you believe that he himself may be so hopelessly confused that he actually thinks he was a police man-war hero-astronaut-business tycoon.
You want to watch it? Yeah, sure you do.
With a candidate so manifestly un-ready for prime time, we were betting that his handlers would never in a million years put him on a debate stage with Sen. Raphael Warnock, who is exactly the opposite of a drooling idiot with a history of domestic violence and who does not appear to be laboring under multiple recurring delusions. But no! According to the Washington Post, the National Republican Senatorial Committee is dispatching a “rescue mission” including a celebrated debate prep coach to get Walker into fighting form.
Best of luck, fellas.
[AJC]
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