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Let’s see, has Wisconsin GOP Rep. Derrick Van Orden ever appeared on Wonkette? Looks like no. But now he has!
So he is some piece of shit who was elected in 2022, after being present at the Capitol on January 6 during the Donald Trump-incited seditious terrorist attack against America. In 2021 he was arrested for trying to bring a loaded gun through TSA at the airport. The same year, he had a great big little tantrum at a teenager working at a library in southwestern Wisconsin because he didn’t like the gay pride display. He was reportedly really upset about John Oliver’s book A Day In The Life Of Marlon Bundo. Yes, the one where Mike Pence’s gay bunny rabbit gets gay-married.
He apparently ultimately checked out all the LGBTQ+ themed books, we guess to keep others from doing so.
Biiiiiig man.
Van Orden (big man!) is a Republican former Navy SEAL. Those types never have unresolved anger issues. Never.
So he must have had a totally normal heart rate and a really good reason to lose his angry little white guy shit at a group of congressional pages late last night. If you’re not familiar, pages are minor children, either 16 or 17 years old. Their crime? Lying on the floor of the Capitol rotunda and taking pictures. You know, like teenagers.
He reportedly yelled at them and called them “lazy shits” and told them to “get the fuck up.”
Biiiiiiiiiiiiig maaaaaaaaaan. BIG MAN!
Jake Sherman adds that this was the last week for this group of pages, so it makes even more sense why they might be Instagramming their experience. Too bad some little white guy loser with masculinity and anger issues came along and ruined it.
If that guy was your dad, you’d never bring him to “Bring Your Dad To School Day” because what if a kid whose dad wasn’t a little milktoast also brought their dad that day? That would suck and you would be so embarrassed when security had to escort your human dad out for whatever tantrum he was having.
He might see another gay cartoon penguin.
In summary and in conclusion, congrats, congressional pages! You will be telling the story of this loser for the rest of your lovely lives. Best wishes!
OPEN THREAD.
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