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Cleta Mitchell is one of those old assface white conservative lawyers who turns up like a slug languishing underneath a railroad tie pretty much anytime Republicans are caught doing fascism. Pick up the railroad tie, oh there she is!
The project to overthrow the American government in 2020 and reinstall Donald Trump because white fascists can’t handle the fact that all normal people hate their fucking guts and never want them to have power again? There she is!
Trying to help with the Trump campaign’s efforts to overturn the will of the actual people in Georgia? There she is! She was literally on Trump’s perfect phone call, where he said to “find” him 11,780 votes. (She had to leave her law firm after that one.)
THERE SHE IS!
Trump Lawyers F*ck Around And Find Out In Georgia
Trump Makes Conveniently Timed Donation To Mark Meadows’s Employer
Training MAGA idiots to keep a keen (white) eye on the polls to make sure nothing nefarious goes on? There she is! “I don’t care what anybody says. You can tell me I’m ‘the Big Lie.’ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Actual quote.
But her slug railroad tie action goes way back. Here are a couple of deep cuts, courtesy of JoeMyGod: Back in the days of the Teabaggers, she did some work for the National Organization for Marriage — those viciously bigoted garbage humans — in Minnesota. She’s such a vicious bigot, or at least used to be — maybe she’s woke now! LMAO — that in 2011, she led a campaign to get a gay Republican group called GOProud kicked out of CPAC. Of course, her first husband was gay. So that’s interesting.
But yeah, she’s been around. Her Wikipedia’s got a good rundown of all her slug railroad tie appearances, should you be interested. But back to the present!
The Washington Post reported yesterday that Mitchell gave quite the presentation to an RNC donors retreat in Nashville on what Republicans have got to do to start winning elections again, specifically in 2024. Is it to learn to govern in ways normal people actually support? No, not that. Is it to do things that might make life better for people who are NOT old white racists who are going to die within the next few years? LOL shut up.
A top Republican legal strategist told a roomful of GOP donors over the weekend that conservatives must band together to limit voting on college campuses, same-day voter registration and automatic mailing of ballots to registered voters.
Haha of course. These goddamn kids are trying to make decisions about what kind of country they want to live in, and they haven’t even asked Christian fascists’ permission!
Her presentation was called “A Level Playing Field for 2024,” because we guess she decided to go with that old white Republican strategy where they name things the exact opposite of what they are.
Journalist Lauren Windsor taped some of Mitchell’s presentation, and boy howdy:
“What are these college campus locations?” she asked, according to the audio. “What is this young people effort that they do? They basically put the polling place next to the student dorm so they just have to roll out of bed, vote, and go back to bed.”
LOL, old white asshole can’t stop herself from adding completely baseless digs about the youngs being lazy. She was talking to old white assholes after all.
The Post says her presentation was really mad about campus voting in Arizona, Nevada, Wisconsin, Virginia and Georgia, noting that all five states “are home to enormous public universities with large in-state student populations.” Guess how all those states voted in the 2020 election? (Also, weirdly, her presentation said Alaska is one of the eight states that’s going to decide 2024. Something interesting happening up there we should know about? HMMMMM!)
THERE SHE ISN’T! Welcome To Congress, New Alaska Rep. Mary Peltola!
She really wants more “oversight” in Fulton County, Georgia — Republicans always want to do “oversight” in Atlanta, wonder why! — and she doesn’t like that Culinary Workers Union in Nevada and how it organizes ordinary culinary workers to vote for the people they’d like to represent them.
And she’s mad some states will let 17-year-olds register ahead of time if they are going to be 18 on Election Day. (We’re reminded of Kellyanne Conway’s recent freakout that TikTok might have a bad influence on all the Youngs, by peer pressuring them to vote.)
GROOMING! Kellyanne Conway Worried TikTok Influencers Might Groom Kids To Do Dirty Stuff, Like Voting
She hates early voting too, obviously:
“Forty-five days!” she said in a reference to Virginia’s early voting period. “Do you know how hard it is to have observers be able to watch for that long a period?”
We imagine it is indeed very difficult to get enough drooling MAGA grunts to stare menacingly at Black people at the polls to sustain a 45-day effort. Thoughts and prayers.
But yes, it is terrible, the tyranny of making voting easy for eligible young citizens, even those who don’t vote the way white Republican social conservatives would prefer. It’s like they don’t even respect their white fascist elders! (Exactly.) It’s like they don’t even think old Republican garbage has ever contributed anything of value to American society! (Correct.)
Mitchell told her RNC audience that her organization, the Election Integrity Network, “is NOT about winning campaigns,” according to the text of the presentation. But the slidesgave little other rationale for why campus or mail voting should be curtailed. At another point in the presentation, she said the nation’s electoral systems must be saved “for any candidate other than a leftist to have a chance to WIN in 2024.”
“The Left has manipulated the electoral systems to favor one side … theirs,” she wrote in the presentation. “Our constitutional republic’s survival is at stake.”
One-hundred percent projection, but whatever, motherfucker, cry more.
And definitely, keep doing this shit. Keep trying to make it harder for people to vote. That’s the Republican ticket. Piss off the youngs even more.
It’s so pathetic, though, because this just reconfirms what everybody knows, namely that Republicans really don’t have anything to sell that any good and patriotic American wants to buy. Everybody hates their shitty ideas. Everybody thinks they’re fucking weirdos, crying about how the green M&M isn’t fuckable anymore while they shoot guns at Bud Light because it was nice to a transgender person.
FUCKING WEIRDOS! Here’s Tucker Declaring Flawless Victory Over M&Ms That Stole All His Boners, Good Morning
Is This The Right Amount To Get Mad At Beer?
So they have to give presentations in Nashville hotels about how it’s unfair letting young people vote by mail or on their college campus. As if there aren’t mailboxes and polling places all over old balls white Republican neighborhoods in the exurbs.
Keep fuckin’ around, y’all, and ye shall keep finding out.
Here’s a fun Mehdi Hasan video about what a piece of shit Cleta Mitchell is:
The end.
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