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A few years back, as I was coping with a life-altering condition, I sought answers from those who seemed imbued with a certain quality I could only label “wise.” I tried to find people who had more depth in their approach to life to ask their advice. At the same time, as a scientist with a research background, I felt the need to be able to objectively know how to determine if someone was wise.
To learn more, I embarked on my Wisdom Research Project, interviewing 60 adults who others considered wise. They ranged from a CEO of five companies to a concentration camp survivor to a librarian and more. My findings proved fascinating. Unlike society’s view of a wise person, which often had to do with accomplishment or wealth, I found that wisdom was a state of being — a mindset.
From our interviews, my team and I distilled eight elements that comprise wisdom, including resilience, kindness, positivity, spirituality, humility, tolerance, creativity, and curiosity. Each interviewee displayed five or more. While the eight elements are distinct, they’re also interrelated. What’s more, these are qualities that each of us can master to become both wiser and happier.
Let me focus on just one, positivity, as an example and how one of my interviewees exhibited it.
Eduardo, a former attorney, incorporates positivity into his daily life. Throughout his interview, he referred to himself as a “monkey” and laughed often. He feels that play is very important to his state of being. He believes that “God is never happier than when he sees his children at play.” In his marriage, Eduardo incorporates excitement and spice so that it’s never boring. He has a zeal and love for life that’s insatiable.
Being more positive begins with a realization that you deserve to go through life being happy, regardless of your circumstances or situation. Make pursuing joy a priority. Put up pictures that make you smile. Set an alarm as a reminder to take a moment to pause for perspective. Take time each day to do something that will help you keep your mood light. Play a favorite song; watch a YouTube clip of babies laughing; play fetch with your dog.
Julie, another interviewee, feels like moving her body each day is very important for keeping a positive mindset. When her children were small, they used to have daily dance parties, and she continues the dance party even now that they’re out of the house.
Being positive is essential to navigating life with ease. As you encounter obstacles, it’s positive thinking that will make the obstacles less difficult.
Consider saying a simple but powerful affirmation to yourself several times a day. The power of positive thinking is profound. Don’t use negative terms in the affirmation. For example, say, “I’m strong” instead of “I’m not weak.” Your brain will only register the term “weak” and not the word “not.” “I am” statements are very powerful. Initially, you may not believe the affirmation, but soon you will. Say the affirmation silently or out loud and say it while overcoming an obstacle — or even while doing nothing significant.
John Lennon felt that the mind was very powerful and incorporated these thoughts into his music. He believed that regardless of the difficulty, “Every day in every way, it’s getting better and better.”
Also consider doing a daily visualization. Visualize yourself doing what you want to be doing. Your brain won’t know the difference between what is and isn’t real. There have been numerous instances where people used their minds to “practice” a sport and became just as successful at the sport as the person who physically practiced.
This can apply to every part of your life. For example, if you’re having difficulty walking and you like the beach, visualize yourself running on the beach. Don’t remind yourself of your limitation; visualize yourself running as if it’s something you’re used to doing. The visualization should be detailed and include an emotion. A way to include detail is to include at least three senses. What do you smell at the beach? Do you feel the rays of the sun on your skin? What do you hear? Truly feel the emotion of how running on the beach feels.
Another type of visualization is to imagine that what you want has already happened. Visualize having gotten that raise, having given a successful presentation, or having a productive and pleasant meeting. Consider incorporating both types of visualizations in your daily routine — one of an image that has already happened and one as if it’s currently happening. For visualizations to be effective, you need to practice them daily for a minimum of five minutes. A visualization taken seriously can have profound results.
The actions of your body can also impact your emotional state. Notice your posture. Simply holding your head up and sitting upright will elevate your mood. Catch yourself slouching and fix it. Smile as much as you’re able. When you wake up in the morning, raise your arms to mimic a victory “V” and thank the universe for another day.
Positivity is a state of mind. Once you understand that you have complete control of your thoughts and feelings, those thoughts and feelings can be made into positive ones. With practice, you’ll fully embrace this key trait of wisdom.
Written by Dr. Laura Gabayan.
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