[ad_1]
When employees feel insignificant, motivation suffers, engagement stagnates and well-being declines. Today, data shows that close to 30 percent of workers feel invisible at work, 27 percent feel ignored and almost half feel undervalued.
Feeling insignificant has a name. Psychologists call it “anti-mattering” and it can be one of the most insidious forces in an organization.
That’s why, as a leader, you should be aware of the five major experiences that lead to anti-mattering: the feelings of being unseen, unheard, unvalued, forgotten or dispensable; and commit to several actions to mitigate them.
Unseen
To be seen is to be noticed, to have our presence, our experiences, and the ebbs, flows, and details of our lives acknowledged by others.
When others pay attention to and remember us, our lives’ hidden vividness and nuances become known.
To be unseen, though, is to be lost. Feelings of being unseen often arise from unintentional, yet insidious, acts of social ignorance: forgetting someone’s name or how to pronounce it, not making eye contact, not asking for a colleague’s unique perspective, not acknowledging someone’s past experiences, not seeking to learn about someone’s personal life, not checking in with a coworker you know is struggling or not telling someone you missed them when they were gone.
There are several actions you can take to ensure people feel seen:
- Have a practice for remembering and checking in on people’s work and personal details. One supervisor I work with has a notebook, and every week, she writes down her team members’ names and one thing she wants to remember to check in on the following week. At the top of my one-on-one agendas, I write down, “Don’t forget to ask about…”
- Ask better questions in regular interactions. Too often, we stop at greetings: “How are you?” “How was your day?” or “I hope you’re doing well.” Leaders who are great noticers ask clear, open and exploratory questions like: “What has your attention today?” “What’s been most meaningful to you today?” “What are you struggling with, and how can I help?”
- Create the time and space to see people. Hurry and care can’t coexist. Optimize the in-between moments of connection before or after a meeting starts or in the hallway. Take time to call people to check in and use formal meeting time not only to check in on “what” people are doing but also on how they’re doing.
Unheard
When someone’s voice is dismissed, discounted or devalued, they feel dismissed, discounted and devalued.
There are several ways we make each other feel unheard: dismissing someone’s ideas, not responding, not asking for their opinion, not following up on feedback, telling someone they need more experience before weighing in, not giving them adequate time to express themselves or not demonstrating curiosity or interest.
To ensure people feel heard:
- Prioritize building a climate of psychological safety, which is the belief that people can speak up and share their ideas and feedback without fear. One powerful practice is to have your teams create shared “social rules” for meetings and conversations like “no interrupting,” “no silencing” or “assume good intentions.”
- Learn the skill of listening deeply. Give people undivided attention. Put devices away. Get curious about the meaning behind people’s words, and name the feelings you’re sensing (e.g., “I sense you’re frustrated, is that right?”). Seek to understand someone’s ideas and perspectives before you seek to evaluate them.
- Take action based on what you’ve heard. Many times, we can help people feel heard because of what we do outside the interaction. Let the person know what you’ll do with what they’ve shared and do it, even if that means simply checking in with them the following week.
Unvalued
To be valued is to be considered important or beneficial. People feel unvalued when they feel unimportant and when they can’t see how they’re helpful or useful. While being unseen and unheard are key causes of feeling unvalued, others’ behaviors can make it harder for people to see how they add value.
Feeling perpetually unvalued leads to increased stress, a higher risk of burnout, low motivation and the likelihood of leaving a job.
To ensure people feel valued and can see how they add value:
- Know, name and nurture people’s unique gifts. Everyone brings their strengths, purpose, perspective and wisdom to any job. Pointing out those gifts explicitly and giving opportunities for them to use them can help people see how they uniquely add value.
- Go beyond “thank you” and “good job” and show people people the difference they make and exactly how they make it. Good leaders tell people that they matter. Great leaders show people exactly how they matter.
- Be a collector and teller of “stories of significance”—real, tangible, examples of how people and their work make a difference.
Forgotten
Regularly sensing that you’re not seen, heard or valued can lead to feeling forgotten. People feel forgotten when others don’t remember their names, don’t ask for their opinions, don’t notice they are gone, don’t acknowledge their efforts or contributions to a team and don’t express that they are missed when they’re absent.
Some ways to make sure people feel remembered:
- Start with remembering the small things like people’s names, how to pronounce their names or details about their lives.
- If people are absent or miss a meeting, tell them you missed them and explain why. For example, taking notes and asking someone who wasn’t there for their perspective can be a potent way to remind someone that their absence was noticed.
- When scheduling meetings or conversations, ask: “Whose perspective are we missing here?” Being intentional about inviting people into conversations and sharing with them that you’re inviting them because their unique knowledge and perspective adds value can help people feel remembered.
Dispensable
In ongoing research, we’ve found that when people describe experiences of mattering, they most frequently talk about being given responsibility, being called on to act in a crisis, becoming a caretaker or being relied on by someone. Feeling needed is essential for feeling that we matter.
Yet, too often, our organizations make people feel replaceable or like disposable resources. Skills may be replaceable, but human beings and their unique perspectives, personalities and strengths are never replaceable. Don’t be surprised when people who feel replaceable start behaving that way. If people see themselves as just a resource, they will act like it.
To show everyone how they’re needed:
- Make sure people can see how they and their work are measurably necessary for a bigger outcome, and regularly remind them.
- Use these five words often when giving thanks: “If it wasn’t for you…” “If it wasn’t for you, this wouldn’t be possible…”
When people feel irreplaceable, they act irreplaceable. They show up and commit.
That’s the power of mattering.
Reprinted by permission of Harvard Business Review Press. Adapted and excerpted from The Power of Mattering: How Leaders Can Create a Culture of Significance by Zach Mercurio. Copyright 2025 Zach Mercurio. All rights reserved.
[ad_2]
Original Source Link
